A Journey North
by DustWriter
Summary: An AU set in a true time of war. Struggling to find her way in a new life and a new land, frontline nurse Katniss meets a stranger as lost as her, and her life will never be the same again.
1. Chapter 1

_Hello again, long lost land of fanfiction! Apologies for my long absence; I've been working on a screenplay and/or novel based on this fanfiction but I have terrible motivational block. I'm hoping that sharing my work in progress here will spurn me to work faster and get my research done. I love the subject matter and frankly, am tired of me holding myself back. _

_While the work here is not factually accurate; the screenplay/novel will be. That being said, if you note a date or a term I've misused, please let me know. _

_Glad to be back! _

**A Journey North**

**July 1944**

"Katniss? It's time to go."  
Katniss quietly dug her fingernails into the pale blue fabric of the armchair. A listless breeze was picking up in the late morning and it tugged at the leaves of the fading dogwood outside.  
"Nissy?"  
"I'm ready." Katniss stood up and smoothed the worn dress with her hands. She detested the smocked waist and little yellow flowers. She wanted her uniform dress. But he had bought this dress for her when she graduated the nursing program. Before he went to France. So she wore it for him.  
Her mother offered her a pinched smile that Katniss did not return.  
"The car is just outside," Rudolph Thorne stammered from the door. His plump hands crushed his hat. He glanced at Katniss's stony face. "I'm so very sorry, Miss."  
Katniss said nothing.  
"Thank you for your kindness," her mother breathed, smiling at the butcher graciously. "Katniss?"  
Katniss nodded silently and brushed past them both to take her coat from the rack by the door. Outside, the smell of fall hung heavy in the air. The sun was cool and feeble on the rolling grassland in which their modest farmhouse sat. It was a day he'd want to be outside, raking leaves. She'd have been with him.  
She moved down the painted porch steps as she heard her mother emerge from the house behind her. She walked over to the gleaming limousine and reached for the door handle.  
"Let me get that for you, miss." He hurried to join her and his greasy hand closed on the handle by hers. She could smell the years of meat and blood on him. She yanked her hand away too quickly.  
She slid into the cold backseat bench. Her mother followed shortly thereafter. He hesitated, looking as though he thought to sit with them. But Katniss had not moved to the window and there was no room. He nodded with a nervous smile and closed the door. Katniss felt the shadow as he passed between her and the sun on his way to the passenger seat by the limousine driver.  
"Katniss, please. Mr. Thorne is escorting us as a favor."  
"He's not family. He doesn't belong with us."  
"He's a friend and a gentleman."  
Then he was waving to them from across the expanse to the front of the car and they were obligated to sit in silence in the dark, pristine cabin.  
Katniss watched the buildings in the distance roll gently by as the car meandered into the small town. The sun was golden against the buildings.  
It was a beautiful day. It was the day she'd been fearing since a chilly December morning over three years ago. It was a day she'd been fearing for a long time.

* * *

**December 1941**  
The phone had been ringing when they walked in from church that Sunday morning in December.  
Katniss picked at the wool skirt nervously. She still wore her heavy winter coat and her boots dripped melting snow onto the living room rug under her foot. She curled into herself as she listened to her father's hushed voice on the phone. Her fingers found the fraying seam and she tugged at the skirt harder.  
"Katniss, don't pull that," her mother fussed from her seat.  
Adam Everdeen hung up the phone. "I've got to go, Emily," he told his wife. "I'm needed on post."  
Katniss's mother nodded but her eyes betrayed the confusion and fear. Katniss glanced at her. "What they said on the radio, Dad...what did it mean?"  
Adam sighed and rubbed his temples. Katniss watched his steady hands trace his eyebrows.  
"It's begun." He paused. "There was a bombing at a naval base in Hawaii." Emily gasped.  
He sat heavily into the chair opposite his daughter. "We lost a lot of boys," he mumbled. Katniss saw sunshine over blue water. Heard birds calling. The sweet smell of salt water and flowers becoming melting to burning fuel and blood.  
She wondered if any of the boys she'd graduated high school with were there that morning.  
"I'll go with you," she blurted out, sitting up. "To the post. I'll go with you."  
"No, Katniss." He came back from his thoughts and stood, reaching for the wool coat he'd only taken off a few minutes prior. "You should stay here with your mother," Adam continued.  
"You'll need help," Katniss insisted. "I'm quick with your paperwork."  
"It's just a briefing, Nissy," he told her firmly. "You can help me out on Monday just like every other week."  
"This isn't every other day." She stood up, worrying the buttons on her coat now. "I should be there with you."  
He shrugged the coat onto his shoulders and turned to look at her. They were so very similar. His hair had faded to grey but it still betrayed the rusty brown she wore when the sun glinted off the strands. Her hazel eyes were the mirror image of his own. Her nose and lips belonged to her mother, but he proudly claimed her stubborn streak.  
He took her in and managed a smile. "I'll be home late, Em. Don't wait up."  
Katniss stood on the painted wood porch until she could no longer see his taillights over the rolling green land surrounding their modest Lynchburg farmhouse. Her mother finally pulled her in to the house, complaining of the cold. They picked at a small dinner of chicken soup and hot tea while they listened to the radio and were lost in the fear spreading over the nation: War had finally come.  
Katniss stared at her mother's mute form across the table and angrily wished her father were with them. To say something. To say anything. After Emily had retired to her bedroom to read and sleep, Katniss had settled into his wingback chair to listen to the radio alone.  
When he'd come home near midnight, Adam had found his daughter asleep on the stairs in her robe and slippers.  
"Why aren't you in bed?" he whispered as she grimaced at the crick in her neck and yawned.  
"I was waiting for you. What's going to happen?" she whispered. "To you?"  
He sat on the step beside her. "I'm going to train new recruits. New medics. That's all, Nissy."  
"They won't send you to Japan, will they?"  
"No, no." He rubbed her back with his solid hand.  
She breathed in relief. "I want to join up."  
"Katniss," he said, "you're doing well enough in nursing school now. No need to start over after all this work."  
"I don't think I'll need a bedside manners class when I'm teaching your boys how to give a tetanus shot," she said wryly.  
He shook his head and smiled. "We'll see, all right? I need to think about this on a clear head." He stretched and yawned. "We both should get to bed."  
She smiled. "Okay. I'll wake you when it's time for us to go to the post tomorrow."  
He shook his head as she stood and climbed the stairs to her room.

* * *

She woke to the argument from the kitchen. She could see the fresh layer of crisp frost on the tree outside her window. She sat up and listened.  
"She's twenty. Bobby Sweeney won't wait forever. The neighbors are all talking-"  
"Emily, she'll be a fine nurse and nobody thinks less of her. She'll train other nurses here; she's not running off across the world."  
"She would if she were following you," Emily snapped. Katniss heard something hit the basin in the sink and her mother's footsteps stomping up the stairs. She waited until the door to her parents' bedroom had slammed to slip her feet into the wool house shoes and wrap her robe around herself.  
She gingerly opened her door and crept to the stairs.  
"I was going to wake you," she said softly to her father's back.  
He spun around in the squeaky kitchen chair. "Sorry, Niss. I didn't sleep well. Was up anyway."  
She nodded and headed to the coffee pot. She poured it black, just like his.  
He cleared his throat. "I think your mother has misgivings about your joining the nursing program, Katniss. Maybe you should speak with her first."  
Katniss scoffed at the cup. "She wants me to marry Bobby Sweeney instead?" she asked in a sour voice.  
"And why not?" he mused. "You've been sweethearts for nearly two years. It's about time you started thinking about it," he hinted.  
"I suppose," she said. "But I want to serve first."  
"Katniss, it's not just about what your mother thinks-"  
"She doesn't understand, Dad. She never has."  
He sat back in his chair. He shook his head. "Katniss, don't say such things. Your mother loves you very much."  
She flushed. "I know. I'm – I'm sorry. But I want to help Dad. Working with Bobby Sweeney at his father's grocery store isn't going to save any lives."  
"How do you know that? What if there's a carrot emergency in aisle four?"  
She smiled against her will. "I think Bobby can handle the carrots."  
"Can he handle your leaving?"  
"I'm only a teller," she frowned. "I don't think Mr. Sweeney will have trouble finding a boy or girl from the high school to take over my register."  
"No, Katniss. I mean, will Bobby have trouble?" her father asked.  
She was silent for a moment. "He'll just have to," she said. "He'll just…he'll just have to," she repeated. She turned back to the counter and searched the breadbox for a slice of wheat.  
"Katniss." His voice was beside her. "I'm very proud you want to be a nurse. I don't, however, want you to miss out on an opportunity for happiness. You'll be a fine wife and mother, too."  
She forced a smile. "Thank you, Dad." She looked to him. "I just want to be a nurse first."  
He laughed softly. "Oh, you do take after your old man. It's a miracle your mother can stand either of us."  
"It is," Emily said, returning to the kitchen, fully dressed and pinning up her hair. "Katniss, you should dress for class. It's nearly eight."  
"I'm going with Dad to the post today," she told her. "I'm going to register for the nursing corps."  
"You're leaving school?" Her tone was clear.  
"It's not too late for you to get spring tuition back," Katniss scowled.  
"That's not my concern. My concern is your reputation. Adam, I thought you were going to speak to her."  
"My reputation? Is that a joke?"  
"You watch your tone with me, young lady," her mother warned.  
"Emily," Adam broke in. "I'll take Katniss to the post today so she can get more information; I'm sure they haven't organized the volunteer enlistment office yet. And-" he cut off her protest, "It's a fine career and it will do her well. Bobby Sweeney wants a slew of children; that's a lot of skinned knees and summer colds to take care of."  
Her mother looked unconvinced. Katniss stomped past her. "Where are you going?"  
"I have to dress for enlistment."

To Be Continued...


	2. Chapter 2

She stood at the counter in front of the gentle-faced woman. "Everdeen. E-V-E-R-"

"Katniss, I know who you are," Nurse Fawcett smiled. The woman had worked with her father for thirteen years at the post training the incoming nurses.

"Sorry," Katniss flushed, glancing back at the line of women waiting to enlist behind her. "I'm just glad to be here."

Nurse Fawcett clucked her head as she jotted down the details she knew. "Current occupation?"

"I'm studying nursing at Saint Mary's Nursing College. And I work in the grocery store," she mumbled.

"With Bobby Sweeney?" Nurse Fawcett added slyly.

Katniss fumed quietly. "Yes."

"And how are you doing there? At school, I mean."

"Just fine, Lieutenant. Ma'am," she decided to say.

The head nurse glanced over the line behind Katniss. "If you don't mind my saying," she said under her breath, "you ought to keep with Saint Mary's. "

"But it'll be months before I'm finished!"

"Katniss, this war won't be over in a few months."

This gave Katniss pause. Fawcett handed her back her enlistment paperwork. "Look," she murmured. "You've gotten this far, you would have to backtrack a bit starting over here. If you finish with Saint Mary's I can probably get you right into hospital rotation. I expect we'll have some long-term care boys coming back soon. Next, please."

Katniss shuffled out to the parking lot to the car. She leaned against the hood and read the syllabus she'd picked up upon arrival. She knew Nurse Fawcett was right. She knew more than this basic course offered already, and she wouldn't even call herself a stellar student.

She kicked the stubborn tire of the car. She wanted to join today.

Her father looked up from his desk as she shuffled into his office across the post, kicking her shoes along the pale green linoleum floor.

"How did it go?"

"Fawcett says should finish nursing school first," she scowled.

"Easier to listen to her than your mother, is it?"

"I want to help now!" Katniss slumped into the patient's consulting chair in front of his desk.

"There will plenty to do at the end of your training, Nissy."

Katniss chewed her lip. "Dad, how long do you think this war will go on?"

He sat back in his chair with a heavy sigh. "I don't know. They've been fighting for years over there already. I hope not long, but who can say?" Katniss watched his mind consider it. "I know it's going to cost us all something, if that's what you're thinking about."

She frowned.

"Half the world at war," he murmured. "We're going to see things on a scale we've never imagined."

She stared. "Could I see Europe?" she whispered.

He blanched. "I suppose. I would prefer if you worked domestically," he added quickly. "I think it would depend on your chosen specialty."

"I think I'd prefer to stay here with you."

"Glad to hear it," he laughed. "Now," he breathed, standing up. "Get out of here. I have work to do."

"I can help!" she protested.

"Yes you can. But you should go home and tell your mother you're not going to the Philippines."

Katniss rolled her eyes and gave him a reluctant smile. "I'll come back tonight with the car for you."

"That would be appreciated!" He chuckled as he popped her on the head with his clipboard.

"Ow!"

"Suck it up, Nurse Everdeen," he called as he walked out the door.

* * *

**April 1944**

Katniss glanced at her final test scores again. She was disappointed.

The two years of classes leading up to this graduation been endless and difficult. She had wanted to be naturally exceptional, like her father. He was held in high regard by not only his military colleagues, but her neighbors whom he helped when they were sick. Her scores were solidly average. No hint of extraordinary talent sprung up from the page.

Further still, the battles in the South Pacific had alarmed her. The stories of planes shot down and nurses taken prisoner awoke a fear deep inside. The photos of the injuries send her running to her textbooks. She wondered if she'd be able to face those wounds in actuality without fear making her hands tremble as she turned the pages.

Her residency at the local hospital yielded few traumatic injuries to practice on. Her town was so small the largest injury she was a boy losing his arm in a tractor accident. She had bandaged the sutures after the surgery under the doctor's supervision. She smiled maniacally, holding back the panic as he cried asking his dad how he'd play baseball at school without a catching hand. When she'd left the exam room she threw up in the bathroom.

She, of course, had still been welcomed into the Corps. The demand was skyrocketing. Thousands of nurses were already serving overseas.

Her father's schedule had grown more cramped and crowded and she saw him now only once a month. It would be time for him to visit this weekend and she had wanted to surprise her father with the results when he came home from Fort Lee, but she felt these scores were nothing to get excited about.

The day her father had called home from the post to tell them that a new post, the one called Fort Hill, had been established and he'd be training there during the week and coming home to them on weekend only. As his schedule permitted, he had added cautiously.

Emily informed Katniss that her resulting tantrum at the news was completely undignified. Katniss had informed her mother she would not be joining her for dinner and stomped off to her room.

She dialed the phone number he'd left.

"Everdeen."

"I want to come to Fort Hill."

He sighed heavily. "No, Katniss."

"I know enough! You can't leave me here with her."

"Katniss, she is your mother, show her some respect."

"I can't train while I'm here with her. I should come to Fort Hill."

"You aren't stationed at Fort Hill."

"I can apply for a transfer as soon as I finish the residency."

"No you can't. I'm the approving officer for all medical staff here. You're not approved."

"But-"

"Katniss, you're a Corps nurse now. You've got to learn discipline."

Her legs felt weak and she lowered herself onto the bench by the telephone.

"Katniss," he began, "you're a fine woman. But you can't be a first-rate nurse until you learn to follow orders from authority. And that includes your mother.

"There are going to be some tough choices to make in the future and you'll have to listen to your superior officer's judgement over your own."

She hung her head in shame. "Yes, sir."

He let the smile creep into his voice. "There you go."

"I just wish I was there with you," she whispered. "Are you eating? Are you taking care of yourself?"

"Yes, Katniss. You and your mother do spoil me," he sighed into the phone. "You'll take good care of Bobby Sweeney. I hope he appreciates you as much as I do."

"I miss you, Dad."

"I'll be visiting before you know it."

Now that it was time for him to visit, she wished her test scores had been good enough to earn a post to Fort Hill. She didn't even know if they were good enough to train outgoing medic corpsmen on giving immunizations.

She hopped out of the car and thanked the schoolmate from Saint Mary's who had offered her the ride share; she lived in town and wanted to be a nurse as well. Katniss had been jealous of the girl's excellent test scores until she discovered her brother was already in England planning for a planned invasion of Northern France. She would trade her lower scores for her father safe at home.

"Mom? Mom, I'm home," she called. She dropped her jacket on the sofa before she remember that soldiers store their coats properly. She turned and hung it on the post inside the screen door.

When she turned around he was standing in the doorway to the kitchen.

"Dad!"

She flew across the room into his arms. She peppered his cheek with kisses.

He laughed as he hugged her. "Come now, I wasn't gone that long."

"Long enough." Her words were muffled in his shirt.

"All right," her mother smiled from the stove. She pulled her apron strings and told them to sit for supper. Before she turned her back, Katniss saw something wistful in her eyes.

She hugged her father tighter.

They stayed up late, playing cards and listening to their favorite radio shows. Katniss bested him in gin rummy twice before Emily declared it had grown far too late.

Katniss washed her face with bracing cold water and cleaned her nails diligently. She climbed into bed in her warm nightgown and pulled the sheets to her chin, waiting for him to say goodnight. She sighed happily.

His footfalls were heavy on the stairs.

"Still awake?"

"Of course," she grinned.

He smiled and came to the foot of her bed. "I've been bidding you goodnight in this room for twenty years. Time does fly, doesn't it?"

She smiled, but something was wrong. He had the same wistful look she spied clouding her mother's face earlier.

"Dad. What is it?"

"I'm going."

Time seemed to stop.

"What do you mean you're going?"

She knew what he meant. She didn't want to know.

Adam sat down on the foot of her bed. She felt the familiar shift of his weight on the mattress. Her fingers found the teddy bear she'd had since she was an infant.

"I'm going to Britain, Nissy."

"You can't," she whispered.

"I have to," he mourned softly. "Orders came through. They're planning something big this summer. They need medics over there, ready to go. I trained for this. I'll be training the surgeons over there before they head into France."

"You can't," she repeated.

"Katniss," he sighed. "It'll be all right."

"No. You can't go."

"Nissy-"

"No!"

She was crying before she understood what was happening, bawling into his sweater as he tried to comfort her. He shushed and rocked her.

"Katniss, my girl," he smiled. "My precious girl. You're going to be all right. I'll be in Europe for the summer and back to you by Christmas."


	3. Chapter 3

**April 15, 1944**

"Katniss? Katniss? Nissy?" Mr. Sweeney gently prodded her arm. "Katniss, dear. The till."

"What?" Katniss glanced down and realized that the wizened old man was holding a five dollar bill out to her. "Oh. Sorry," she muttered, counting out the change into his palm. Mr. Sweeney had finished bagging his items and eyed her as he followed the customer to his car outside. He cast a glance to his left and Katniss was unsurprised when Bobby closed her register a moment later.

"Why don't I take you home?" he asked tenderly.

She nodded.

His car was clean and pristine. She thought of the files scattered across the back of her father's car. He loved his work almost as much as he loved his family.

He hadn't called in a week.

He'd been able to call from Fort Hill twice before he shipped out. One more phone call came the night before he left. He had promised to write.

She already waited at the mailbox every day. It was foolish. He'd not even had time to move to the front yet. He'd not even been told the assembly locale. How could he find time to write? She knew it was useless. Still she waited.

Her civilian residency dragged on and she was distracted during training. She had to repeat a tourniquet lesson twice. The teacher knew her father from town and was more lenient than he should have been. Katniss wanted to feel grateful. She couldn't feel anything.

She hadn't even noticed the car had stopped until Bobby had opened her door.

"Here you go," he whispered, helping her to her feet.

She nodded. She could barely feel her hand in his.

"Do you want to come in?" she asked.

"Sure," he smiled. "I'm sure Pop won't mind my taking a few minutes."

He followed her to the door and she found it was locked. She located her key and discovered the note claiming her mother was going to the butcher shop and then playing cards with her friends. She dropped her jacket on the sofa. She turned and looked at Bobby.

He toed the edge of the sofa.

"Katniss, I'm really sorry about your dad. I'm sure he'll be home soon."

She said nothing.

"And you know he's thinking of you. You and him were like two peas in-"

She shut him up with a kiss.

Bobby Sweeney smiled. It infuriated her. She kissed him again. She could feel how nervous he was. She could feel how she wasn't.

"Come with me," she said. She climbed the stairs.

"Um. To your room?"

"Yes."

He followed her with trepidation. She locked the door behind them.

He had been with a girl before her; he had told her the first night they'd gotten to petting at the drive-in movie theater. He said he'd thought he was going to marry the girl named Sally but she'd left him for a soda jerk and he'd been crushed. Katniss had been surprised. She didn't think Bobby Sweeney would have had the guts to screw anyone. He was so timid and shy with Katniss. It had been sweet. Now it bored her.

He was reluctant at first, but when she put her mouth on him he changed his mind. She knew far more than any girl her age about anatomy and it didn't scare her. The pain was brief and she didn't care. She only wanted to feel something.

He was apologetic despite his happiness when they were done. He told her he always knew they'd be together and he understood that they'd wait until her father got home for the wedding, but that he'd like to tell his parents they were getting engaged that night.

Katniss said she'd rather wait until she could tell her mother, too. He agreed and nearly skipped out the door when he returned to work.

When her mother returned home she asked Katniss about her day.

Katniss said nothing.

* * *

June 15, 1944

Her mother had been going on about what a fine young man Bobby Sweeney had become as Katniss drove them home from dinner with his parents. Katniss had smiled secretly to herself, thinking of how she had corrupted Bobby Sweeney in her bedroom those few short weeks ago.

The first letter had arrived the next day. Katniss re-read it at least fifty times, hoping to find new words sneaking out of the paper. Bobby had come over again, but now that she could feel her heart beating again she held him off, slightly pleased at his new found eagerness.

She was smirking as she pulled the car up the long driveway. Her mother gasped as Katniss's foot slammed on the brakes and jarred them against the wheel and dashboard.

"Katniss! What on earth-"

Then she saw them too.

General Sheffield from the post and a young captain.

The young man with the crew cut was holding a flag.

Katniss threw open the car door and ran.

She could hear her mother shouting for her to come back, but she was down the driveway and out onto the main road. Her heels wobbled on the gravel so she veered off into the grass. She tripped when her pump dug into the soft earth and fell hard onto her hands. She kicked off the shoes and struggled to her feet.

"Katniss!" She could hear the general behind her. Close footsteps told her the captain had been ordered after her.

A panic welled up within her and she began to run again on shaky legs.

"Katniss stop!"

The captain had her arm. She screamed and tried to push him away. He spun her around and trapped her arms across her ribs. He held her back to his chest so she couldn't kick him with her flailing legs.

She screamed.

She fought them all the way back to the house. Her mother carried Katniss's shoes, wiping the silent tears from her own face. The captain sat her on the sofa and she doubled over into her knees to scream into her dress.

"Katniss, I'm so sorry," General Sheffield was saying. She shook her head.

"Katniss, breathe," her mother murmured, stroking her tangled and wild hair.

Katniss inhaled. She smelled the fresh dirt ground into her dress. She cried.

She stayed hunched over until her mother collected the flag and official notice bravely. She thanked the General for making the trip personally; she knew her late husband would have been grateful. The door closed gently and they were alone.

She felt her mother sit next to her on the sofa. "We'll need to make some plans."

Katniss dove off the sofa and up the stairs to her room. She slipped on the fourth step and her shin hit the wooden step hard. She limped up to the top floor and crawled into bed.

She listened to her mother cry softly through the walls.

* * *

Bobby's parents brought over a casserole and Mrs. Sweeney held Emily for a long time. Mr. Sweeney offered useless condolences.

Katniss listened to the hushed conversation regarding her silence as she sat on the back porch swing with Bobby. He reached for her hand. She couldn't feel it.

"Katniss?" he murmured. "It's all right."

She looked at him. She punched him hard in the face.

* * *

It was a long drive from Lynchburg to Arlington. The changing landscape made her feel more alone. Katniss watched the trees thin out and the buildings grow denser. By the time the car rounded the soft shoulder into the cemetery, she felt as though she was in a new world.

She saw Bobby helping his mother from their Buick Roadmaster. The bruise under his left eye was fading. She winced at the look of it. She watched his father point out the limousine and she slid down in the seat.

"Katniss, sit up. Your dress," her mother whispered.

Katniss pushed back up against the soft leather with her short heels digging into the carpeted floor. The car slowed. Winze Thorne struggled to heave his heavy frame from the car. Katniss could hear him wheezing when he opened the door to help her mother from the backseat.

She refused his hand as she stepped out.

"Katniss." Bobby was hurrying over, trying not to break into a jog. She waited for him. She still owed him an apology. He hadn't asked for one.

"May I walk you in?"

"Yes."

He offered his elbow and she took it. The suit was soft under her fingers. She thought he must be hot under the late summer sun. She looked at the arriving guests streaming into the parking lot.

Her mother worried from Winze Thorne's side. "We should have left sooner."

"It's all right, Emily," he soothed, patting her hand where it sat in the crook of his arm. "You do things in your own time today."

Katniss bit her cheek and walked faster.

The grounds were packed as she expected. Her father had treated many of their neighbors and most had made the trip out to the National Cemetery for his internment. The pressure of Bobby's arm drew her attention to the row of empty chairs by the open grave. It took his lead to keep her feet moving.

She dropped heavily into the chair on the end. She saw her mother's tight-lipped grimace as Emily lowered herself gracefully into the chair beside her. Winze Thorne took up a position behind Emily and Katniss's eyebrow twitched in rage. Bobby left her side to rejoin his family.

The officiant stepped to the podium. She did not know him. He opened his mouth and she went deaf.

She looked around at the tearful faces while she tuned out the eulogies offered by his commanding officer and colleagues. They could say nothing she didn't already know. And they could never understand what he had meant to her.

Her father taught her to ride a bike, to read, to put bandages on her dolls when she claimed they were hurt. She shoveled snow from their driveway by his side with her tin sand pail and watched him pack his pipe with sweet-smelling tobacco when they were finished.

She had thought she would be a nurse and work with him at the post, eventually moving to help him in his private local practice when he retired from the military. He had insisted she take time to think about such a demanding job, so she bided her time at the general store until he agreed to send her to school. She clenched her fists. The officiant's voice broke into her memories.

"Please join us at St. Anne's Parish on Limetree Street for a memorial reception."

Bobby had returned to help Katniss to her feet.

"I want to wait. A minute," she said quietly.

Her mother turned. "What?"

"I'll be right along." Katniss forced a smile. "I'd like to thank the pastor for the lovely words."

Emily let her shoulders relax. "All right. That is very kind of you, Katniss. Bobby, would you please give her a lift to St. Anne's?"

"Yes, Mrs. Everdeen."

Katniss watched her mother take Winze Thorne's arm and return to the limousine.

"Katniss, I'm...I'm so very sorry."

"Thank you, Bobby."

"If there's anything I can do for you. Or your mother."

"It's all right, Bobby," she said quickly.

He nodded. She smiled wanly. "Would you give me a minute? With the pastor?"

"Of course." Bobby squeezed her hand gently and hurried to his parents waiting at the edge of the clearing. Katniss offered a gracious wave and they turned for their car.

She hurried over to the pastor where he stood with General Sheffield.

"General, sir."

"Oh, Katniss. Dear, I'm so very sorry for your loss." His white eyebrows dipped downwards to the earth. "Your father and I were close friends. I'll miss him terribly."

"I want to go."

The pale blue eyes blinked at her. "I'm sorry?"

"They want me to stay here. With my mother. I need to go over there. I was planning on enlisting as soon as my residency requirements are completed in December. I'd like to go as soon as I'm enrolled."

He took a deep breath and nodded to the pastor. The pastor bowed to Katniss slightly and walked away.

Sheffield looked past Katniss at the open grave. The polished casket reflected the fading sunlight like a beacon.

"You've suffered a terrible loss, Katniss. This is not the time to make such decisions."

"I belong there. I've passed all my evaluations. I just need to enlist."

"Katniss-"

"I want to go!" She heard the shrillness. She covered her mouth. "My apologies, sir." She steadied her breathing. "I need to go. I need to. I'm training - I've trained, as a nurse, you see. I was supposed to work for him at Fort Hill. I was...that's gone now."

General Sheffield smiled gently at her. His weathered, heavy hand found her shoulder. "Katniss. Your father was - is - proud of you. You don't need to do anything more than be who you are." He patted her shoulder softly.

Katniss watched him walk away. She turned back to the grave. She waited.

She heard Bobby's feet behind her. "Katniss? We should get the reception. Your mother will worry."

She nodded mutely and let him wrap an arm around her and lead her to the waiting car.

The reception was a whirlwind of apologetic faces and meaningless best wishes. It was nearly two hours before she was able to sit quietly in the front hall and massage her aching head and throat.

Her mother's shoes appeared on the polished wooden floor on which Katniss had been concentrating.

"I'd hoped to go back," she mumbled to her mother as Emily handed over her coat. "To the site."

"It's late, Katniss. We need to start back to Lynchburg. Mr. Thorne needs to work tomorrow."

Katniss felt the twitch in her jaw flare. "I'd hoped to go back," she repeatedly tersely.

Her mother sighed. "Katniss." She shook her head. "All right. All right," she mumbled. "Winze," she called softly. "Will you tell the driver we'll have to go to Arlington first? Then we'll head right back."

"Is everything all right?" he asked. His full face squished together in concern.

"Katniss would like to say goodbye to her father," Emily intoned. "Just for a minute."

He nodded. Katniss turned and walked out the door to the waiting car.

The grounds were dark in the fading light. She climbed out of the limousine filled with dread and walked to the gates. She could see the heavy padlock on the chain. She saw the sign for the hours she'd missed earlier. She let her fingers wrap around the cold wrought iron and rested her forehead against the gate.

"Katniss? Is it locked?" Emily called.

Katniss gripped the gate hard until her fingers ached. "Dad," she whispered. "I'm coming."

She released the gate and walked stiffly back to the car.


	4. Chapter 4

_Just a quick pseudo-chapter before a real one..._

She lay in bed and stared at the ceiling, her mind on the the bags packed and hidden in her closet. It was nearing midnight.

She did not relish the fatigue she'd face when the taxi arrived at 6am at the end of the road, just before her mother began to stir. But she knew she'd have to slip out. If Emily asked she wasn't going to lie.

She hadn't told Bobby. She'd dropped the letter in the corner mailbox after she'd given him a kiss farewell outside the grocery store yesterday when she left with the acceptance letter to the Army Nurse Corps hidden in her pocket. Katniss knew enough that struggling for the words in person would only hurt him. He was still a good man, after all.

Katniss could guess what Emily would say. She was tired of hurting her too. She suspected her mother felt the same way. She had only planned to leave a note that read "I'll call from the post", but after staring at her uneven handwriting for a long time she felt a regret so powerful she knew she wanted to see her.

Taking her suitcase to the door, she tiptoed back up the stairs to the room her parents once shared. She slipped inside.

Emily sighed in her sleep. Katniss saw the green wool sweater her father had worn every winter for ten years. He never got rid of it, no matter how often Emily had to patch the elbows and wrists. Now Emily had it draped over her pillow, letting the spun wool scratch her face as she slept.

Katniss covered the sob with her fist. She tiptoed over to the bed and brushed her mother's greying hair from her temple. She kissed her cheek gently.

"I'm going to go, Mom," she whispered.

Emily murmured and sighed.

"I'm not coming back," Katniss cried softly.

Emily made a mourning noise.

Katniss hurried down the stairs and closed the door behind her. The air was dry and crackly. She wondered if it would be cold where she was training.

She walked to the main road where she told the taxi dispatch she'd be waiting.

When she finally reached the bus depot, she was not surprised to see a number of young men with newly shorn haircuts waiting for the bus with her. Crying mothers and distraught younger siblings crowded the platform even at this hour. Katniss stepped back and found a spot against a wall to tune it all out.

She didn't see anyone else from her nursing school that particular, but she hoped she'd see familiar faces when she got to Camp Meade.


	5. Chapter 5

Katniss pulled the linens off the empty cot and stared at the old bloodstains worn into the fibers. The washers had to abandon the idea of pristine linens in favor of simply clean ones. Too many patients were processed to worry about immaculate color schemes anymore.

Southern France had been beautiful. She had disembarked at Saint Tropez with a handful of replacement nurses to relieve those who needed rest after Operation Overlord. She looked at the battle-weary, lined faces and knew they had buried colleagues.

The plan, as she understood it, was that Operation Dragoon would see her follow the front north to meet up with the lines from Operation Overlord and push the retreating Germans to Berlin. She thought she'd see more fighting, feel more danger, but in truth the Southern France landing had been far easier than anything anyone in the north had faced. There were no bodies littering the surf, rare gunfire from resistance, and a beautiful sunny climate.

She felt as though she had cheated those who came before.

So she had volunteered her surgical training to an auxiliary team of a surgeon, anesthesiologist, and an enlisted medical tech that followed far closer to the lines that the evacuation hospitals to the rear. They would handle the most serious injuries; stabilizing the young men so they could survive the ambulance ride back to the waiting teams. The doctor had been surprised she wanted to get so close to the lines, but he had gladly agreed and advised her acceptance to the chief nurse on duty.

After a month of PT and field training, she was on the lines. She wished she could claim that the surgeon had been thrilled with her work, but she could see he held his tongue and passed on as much work as he could to his enlisted man rather than her. She couldn't blame him. Changing wrappings and suturing had become her day in and day out and if that was enough to keep some soldiers alive she would gladly let the enlisted man Chaff Goodsen handle the surgical work. Chaff was kind enough to her and never blamed her for not being as exceptional as the nurse before her. She suspected Chaffhad been sweet on Lieutenant Madge Undersee before a sniper's bullet broke her forearm and she had to go on leave to an evacuation hospital in the far rear.

As if on cue, Chaff poked his head into the OR tent. "Hey, Everdeen. We're moving out tomorrow. Germans are on the run and we're following the line."

"You sound surprised every time, Chaff," she threw over her shoulder, feigning a casual air to hide her smile. "We've been chasing them for days. We're always moving out."

"Yeah, but we're getting very close to Germany now," he added, a severe tone creeping in to his voice. "It's getting colder and more dangerous." He paused a minute and looked her in the eye as she turned to him. "You're sure you're ready to go all the way? To Berlin? The SS is going to get more vicious. I know you try not to listen to Axis Sally and her bull-her lies but it's genuinely dangerous up there, Katniss."

She didn't hesitate. "I'm ready. I'm going with you."

"I won't say anything if you want to be reassigned-"

"I'm going."

"Okay then."

"And you can say bullshit in front of me."

"Yes, ma'am," he gave her a side-smile. "So."

"So?"

"We'll have a few hours tonight before we find out where we're headed. Want to take a drive?"

"Around here? What's left?"

"Not much, but there's a little farming village down the road. Might be a nice change of pace."

"Sounds good," she grinned. "I can use a view that doesn't include dirty linens and canvas walls."

* * *

The Jeep bounced around the pock-marked road. At first Katniss thought it might be tank tracks until she realized exploded mines and shell holes had more likely caused the damage. She closed her eyes for the soldiers that had been caught by those mines; hoping it was retreating units rather than advancing that set them off. She hadn't had a chance to deal with the German POWs but from what her fellow nurses griped about in the mess hall she knew they were a handful to deal with. Her chief nurse, Paylor, had claimed she had to knock out an SS with a shot of morphine just to allow the "inferior American soldier" to dig a bullet out of his femur. Katniss had wondered if she'd have just punched him in the head. Probably not good diplomacy, she had decided.

Now night was falling and the distant sounds of trucks faded behind songbirds and crickets. She breathed in the fresh air and smiled as Chaff hummed a tune from home she didn't recognize.

"Have you heard from Madge?" she asked.

"She wrote me. She's back in Saint Tropez, healing up nicely. She hopes to be back on the front by the time we reach Berlin," he said, trying not to beam.

"She's one hell of a nurse, I hear."

"Well, yeah. She's got incredible bedside manner. I swear, never seen a woman tell a joke to a man and make him laugh right before he's about to lose a foot. She's just - oh, sorry. Not that you aren't great, Katniss. You're..."

"I know, Chaff. Don't try to make me sound what I'm not."

"You do your job," he tried.

"Let's not talk about it," she sighed. "What is this town called?"

"I have no idea. I didn't even bring a map, just a compass. I don't want to know anything except tonight we don't have to be back until midnight."

She grinned.

They stopped on the outskirts of the town and left the Jeep, lest the noise of the motor frighten the townspeople who had only just returned following the German occupation's departure north. The troops had badly damaged the buildings to prevent the Allies using the structures for shelter or hospitals, but the people were already busy repairing their homes. Katniss stared.

"What's wrong?" Chaff asked.

"They rebuild their lives so fast."

"That's all you can do, Kat."

The villagers eyed the strangers arriving by night, offering tired waves and "bonjours" when they saw the American flag stitched onto Chaff's shoulder. They followed the winding path that surrounded the cluster of stone and wood houses and breathed in the clear night air.

A woman hurried up to Katniss, saying something in rapid French and holding her hand. Katniss tried to explain she had no idea what the woman was saying, but the woman shook her head, smiled, and squeezed Katniss' hand all the same before walking away.

"I think she's just glad we're here," Chaff offered.

"I am too," Katniss breathed.

The woman called to Katniss and gestured for her to follow. Chaff shrugged and took after the woman, Katniss tagged along. She led them to a small house that still had a roof and four walls. She pointed inside, and Chaff asked her what was going on.

She spoke again, and he stopped her to ask, "Plus lentement, sil-vous-plaît?" in his meager French. She pointed again, and he stepped inside.

"Katniss. Come inside."

She looked at the smiling woman outside and following Chaff inside. She stopped. "Oh Chaff."

An older man and woman were pouring bowl of soup while the woman hurried inside and started slicing bread. She set it next to a plate of greens and sliced carrots.

"You come in," the older woman told them, pointing to the chairs. "You eat with us."

"This is too much," Katniss breathed. "You need this food for days."

"Vouz avez besoin de ces aliments," Chaff tried. "Nous avons votre...rations."

"You are our guests. We are glad to have you," the man said, allowing Chaff to stop attempting French. "Please sit and break bread with us."

Katniss thought she would be overwhelmed at the gesture, but the deliciousness of the simple dish quickly took her mind elsewhere. They ate nearly everything, struggling to leave leftovers so the family would have food tomorrow. The young woman was the daughter of this elderly couple and had been sure they would not survive the occupation of their home. She had spotted Chaff and Katniss and wanted to thank them for saving her parents. When the woman draped her arms around her father with joy, Katniss had to look away.

It was far later than she had planned when they took their leave of the family, extending as much thanks as they could in broken French and heartfelt English. The parents waved and led their daughter back inside, leaving Katniss and Chaff to walk back to the waiting Jeep.

"We're so late," she said, smiling.

"I hardly care," Chaff laughed, rubbing his stomach. "Rabbit stew. Imagine that. Rabbit stew in the middle of a war."

"They were...I'm so glad we met them."

"Miss your parents?" he smiled.

"What?"

"She reminded me of you. The girl. You must miss your family."

"I don't have one."

"Oh. Jeez, I'm sorry, Kat, I didn't know."

"It's all right." Katniss turned away and walked more briskly.

They reached the Jeep and piled in. "Shit, it's hard to read the compass in the dark." Chaff squinted in the moonlight.

"Go that way," Katniss smiled, pointing.

"You sure?"

"No idea. I don't have a terrific sense of direction," she confessed.

Chaff shrugged with a grin. "Well, let's give it a shot." He rocked the Jeep back and forth from the mud beneath the tires and they rolled onto the lane. The bumps were harder to predict in the darkness and Katniss felt her full stomach lurch as they hit bump after bump.

"Slow down," she moaned, clutching her gut. "You'll have to pull over to those trees soon."

"I'm crawling now. We have to get back soon or someone will notice we're out late. I still have a reputation to protect, you know," Chaff teased.

"Fine. Just...take it easy-"

At first she thought they had hit a mine. The explosion lit up the night, engulfing the front fender of the car in fire. She screamed and made to leap, but Chaff grabbed her arm and pulled her head down. She heard the rat-tat-tat-tat of weaponry begin to fire and the windshield burst.

"Chaff!" she screamed. "What's happening? Who's out there?"

"I don't know, just stay down!"

He poked his head up over the steering column and squinted through the lingering flames. "I can't see what's happening."

Another explosion went off, missing the Jeep by mere feet. Dirt showered down on Katniss and she shrieked.

"Run for the woods! Go!" Chaff shoved open her car door and pushed her out of the Jeep. She scrambled in delirium before find her feet and clambering as fast as she could to the tree line and darting inside. She ran hard, hearing the popping noises behind her and gauging their location.

She ran and ran and ran and ran until she couldn't run anymore.

* * *

"Chaff?" Her voice sounded small and lifeless in the dark forest. She gasped for air, bent over her aching legs. "Chaff?" she called again.

She took a few steps back from where she'd run. Where was he? Hadn't he followed? She blinked in the darkness. She heard voices. She strained. She listened again. She saw a flash of grey and red fabric in the moonlight.

She turned and ran into the night.


	6. Chapter 6

_I wrote half of this chapter a year ago and the other half last night so if you notice inconsistencies, please message or review to let me know! I've forgotten what I wrote after all this time :P_

* * *

The berries looked poisonous. But she was hungry. She broke the skins and stiffed them. She wasn't sure. She debated starving versus poisoning. She ate the berries. She sighed with relief. Berries had never tasted so good.

She had been on the run for over thirty hours. When she was certain the SS had lost her and knew without a doubt Chaff had not followed her and was searching for her as well, she tried to pick her way back to the car. She'd been turned around running and wasn't even sure where she was. She found a field with scorched land and metal shrapnel, but honestly couldn't tell if it was a destroyed Jeep or equipment abandoned from an earlier battle. She found no bodies or torn uniforms and breathed a sigh of relief that Chaff was at least alive, if not hidden from her as she was from him. There was at least some hope.

She had then began to trek back to where she believed the camp would be. Four hours later she was hopelessly lost. They must have left without her, believing she was dead or a POW from the firefight. Surely someone would have heard the weapons and come looking, but she had run so ferociously no one could have found her. She cursed her cowardice. If she had stayed closer to the wreck, they would have found her. Now she was lost somewhere in France with no food, water, shelter, or plan. She had set off walking with the sun to her left, hoping she wasn't too far behind the advance.

After an uncomfortable and brief sleep on the forest floor, her pain and hunger were growing more vociferous. Her joints ached when she had dragged herself to her feet and complained as she walked. It was barely twenty minutes before she knew she had to eat and sought out the berry bush close to a break in the trees. She dropped down to rest against a thick tree trunk and plucked berries from the bushes for half an hour. She stuffed her uniform pockets until her clothing was stained with juices and started walking again. The stitches she had clumsily added to make the man's coverall fit her were ripped in places. She rolled her eyes when she remembered the pristine white and seersucker uniform she was originally assigned. The Army must have been mad if they thought the nurses would all wear dresses and hair bows while avoiding capture. She smiled at the work boots she'd scavenged at the PX. They would have to hold up for now.

She looked up at the morning sun passing overhead. It was ever so slightly to the east at this time of day. She sat up. She checked the sun one more time, spun around, and hopped up to walk.

She was headed north. She reasoned if all the units were heading north eventually she would find another unit who could take her to a medical post. She ignored the possibly the Nazis would find her. She didn't want to imagine what would happen to her before she died if they reached her first.

The woods were beautiful.

* * *

"And we won't come back until it's over...over there..." she sang quietly to herself. She felt slightly mad. Maybe she was mad? How long did it take to go insane wandering alone in the woods?

She thought it might have been three days now, but she had tripped and fallen down and decided to nap at an odd hour the day before and now wasn't sure if it had been hours or minutes since she woke up.

She had terrible indigestion from eating nothing but berries and nuts she found. Using leaves to wipe had left her itching and chapped. She laughed, wondering if she had poison ivy on her ass before realizing that was the least of her problems. Her giggles dissolved into tears.

"So. This is how Nurse Everdeen gets it," she sighed. "Proud of this, Dad? I'm lost and going to die in the woods. That's what I get. Wonder if poison ivy on the ass will earn me a Purple Heart," she laughed and cried again.

She dropped down to sit and sighed. Her head ached with dehydration and her feet screamed. She buried her face in her hands. "Shit." She wondered where Emily was at that moment. Sitting on the porch of the farmhouse, wearing a black dress. A yellow ribbon tied to the banister. Sick with fear for a car to arrive with a folded flag to complete her set.

She breathed slowly, deeply. Calm. Calm. Calm, she thought. There has to be something ahead. A town. A house. Anything.

She looked up at the acres of trees around her and felt her hope dip.

Then a voice. Swearing. She recognized the swearing. She nearly fainted. She pulled herself to crawling and scurried to the sound. There was a break in the trees, as though a path cut by years of people walking through had forced a natural passage. She'd avoided it in case Nazis were sweeping through here on retreat, but the voices coming up the path were distinctly American.

"Odair! Pick up the slack! Christ, you're the slowest man in this unit."

She nearly cried at the twang of the Tennessee accent. She ran.

She slipped down the embankment to the road and saw them. They were twenty yards ahead of her. Six men; dirty with worn uniforms. They'd been through battle, that was evident. But they were lively and marching north.

"Hello!"

A tanned, burly blond man with a short haircut spun around and yanked his rifle to his shoulder. Katniss yelped and dropped to the ground, covering her head and waiting for the shots.

"What's happening?"

"Boggs, it's a woman!"

"Is it?"

Strong hands were helping her up. She brushed the dirt off the uniform shirt and smiled weakly at the team that had stopped to help her. "Hello," she tried again.

An older man with piercing blue eyes and graying sandy brown hair was in front of her. She read his name tag as "Jackson".

"Sir," she nodded, and offered him a salute. She was annoyed that the burly man with the now-lowered-rifle smirked at her salute.

"Everdeen," he read her name badge on her taken-in coverall. "Corps nurse?"

"Yes, sir."

"You're a bit far from your post," an older soldier with a red cross on his helmet said with curiosity. She read "AURELIUS" stamped on the medical kit poking out from his pocket.

"My post doesn't exist anymore," she said dryly. "If it didn't burn it moved out without me." She glanced around. "My enlisted man and I were attacked coming back from leave. I have no idea if the post moved out unscathed."

He bit his lip. "94th Evac?"

She nodded.

"Not unscathed. Not from what I heard before we were cut off," he told her. "Casualties sustained. Few deaths, but most of your team is probably back behind the lines by now."

"I was Auxiliary; front lines."

"Really?" Jackson's eyebrow was raised.

"Requesting permission to accompany you north, sir."

"What the hell? No!" The burly man stepped forward. "We can't take a broad with us!"

"You want to just leave her here?" the handsome man marked Odair said.

"She can't stay out in these words," an enlisted officer labeled Pollux agreed. A man labeled Messalla agreed with a nod.

She turned back to Jackson. "You'll lose your advance if you take me back to an evac hospital. I'll follow you north and find a unit there shipping casualties back to the rear lines.

"She'll slow us down," Boggs argued.

"I can beat you in 100 yards," she said fiercely.

"No skirt is coming with us!"

"You want to make something of it!?" Katniss screamed. She lifted her fists to Boggs and promptly passed out on the road.

* * *

The captain labeled "MITCHELL" offered her a sip from his canteen as they walked. "Feeling better?"

"Yes, thank you." She glanced around. "Just the seven of you?" He nodded. "Kind of small for a company."

"Well," he smiled. "We're a bit lost too. Went out on a scouting mission. We found an outpost, but it was abandoned by the time we'd got there. They saw us coming," he told her, pushing the brush aside with his bayonet. "Collected what we could, were about to head back only to be ambushed. Ended up pushing us so far into the woods by the time we fought our way back to the post it was gone. Looks like it was destroyed, but we don't know. They could have thought we were dead and shipped out; Nazis could have destroyed the camp to make us think they're dead. Radio was destroyed...so..."

"So you're headed north to find your company," she finished for him.

"And then we ran into you. And Boggs tried to shoot you," he laughed.

"Might still try," she murmured, eyeing the burly man glancing over his shoulder at her.

"He's not going to shoot you," a voice to her right sighed. Katniss glanced over at the tall, lanky man with hazel eyes deeper than her own.

"Gale Hawthorne," he smiled, stretching out a filthy hand. She glanced at it.

"Oh, sorry," he said, wiping his hand on his equally filthy pants. He looked at her staring at the addition streaks of mud. He grinned. "Boggs pretends to be a hardass but he's just a teddy bear."

She glanced back and where Boggs picked up a large rock and tossed it off to the side of the road to make room for a footpath. "Right," she said slowly.

Odair smirked from her left. "He won't shoot a skirt. Not another pretty thing to look at in this outfit. Besides me." Pollux snorted.

"What do you do?" Katniss asked.

"Tactical maneuvers. I know all the right moves," Odair hinted.

"And amateur comedian," groaned Pollux. He stuck out his hand and shook Katniss'. "Pollux. Translator."

"What do you speak?"

"French, German, Italian, and the worst Russian you've ever heard."

She smiled. "How about you, Hawthorne?"

"Weapons specialist," Gale told her. "You ever fire a gun?"

"No. Not yet anyway."

"We'll have to teach you in case this turns into a long walk."

"Not while we're lost," Jackson warned them. "We don't know what's out there to hear us."

"Do you think they'd follow us?" Katniss asked. The whole company grew a bit quiet.

"No," Jackson said hesitantly. "We got far enough away."

But she wasn't sure he sounded certain.

When they found the abandoned farmhouse in a fallow field that night Gale volunteered the hay loft for their guest. Boggs grumbled about special treatment for the broad, but a harsh warning from Jackson kept the complaints at bay. As Katniss laid down on the dirty horse blanket over the coarse hay the weariness overtook her but she couldn't sleep. She listened to the men talking below, sorting out what rations they had left for the morning. They might have to hunt something.

She rolled on her back and looked out the loft window above her. The night was growing cold and she knew they needed to get to their company soon. Winter was rapidly approaching; the roads were muddy and rain showers threatened them regularly. Not having a car was probably a blessing; they'd only get stuck. Maybe the mud would leave tracks for animals and they could hunt more easily.

She finally drifted off, dreaming of chasing rabbits and deer through the woods.

* * *

"Breathe. Slow and steady," Gale murmured to her ear as she shouldered his rifle. It was heavier than it looked and she began to shake. She lowered it and shook out her arms. She heard Boggs snort and saw him look away, gesturing to Pollux. Pollux smiled then caught Katniss looking at him and pretended to read a map carefully.

Determined and fiercely angry, she raised the rifle again. "Okay," Gale began in a whisper. "Let the trigger surprise you. You have your target lined up, just squeeze until-"

The gun popped. A bird fell off the branch of a tree forty yards ahead.

"Like that?" she asked, trying to sound nonchalant. She couldn't believe she'd hit something, let alone a bird. She wanted to seem cool and collected but inside was screaming with excitement.

"Um. Yeah. Like that." Gale blinked and stared between her and the bird. Messalla hooted and ran up to retrieve the bird.

"All right, missy!" he called back. Katniss cringed at the nickname, but smiled graciously. "Just eleven more and it'll be enough for a meal," he said, returning with the small wood pigeon.

"Better get to work," Gale laughed, nudging her off into the woods.

She only found and tagged four more in the next hour before Jackson told them they had to press on, so they stripped and cooked the birds over small, hot fires. It was only a little food to add to their remaining dried jerky and trail mix, but it was enough to get them on their feet for a few hours. Aurelius turned out to be a country doctor and a bit of an outdoorsmen, so he was able to identify edible, if not delicious, plants. Katniss cringed at the taste of a few leaves but forced them down all the same.

They walked on and on. Occasionally Odair would freeze and motion for them all to be silent, Gale would take point and scan the trees and road for incoming danger. But no one appeared, and they kept moving.

The path between the trees seemed to grow wider and flatter; as though they were approaching a town. Katniss' hopes grew higher that they'd soon find their way back to the front.

The sun had passed high noon when she spotted a strange mark on the trees ahead. She jogged forward suddenly, and Gale called after her. "Everdeen! Don't run off. What's going on?"

"Look at this!" she called back. She bent down to look at the tree. Its bark was torn, as though something sharp and unyielding had come through and taken a chunk from the base. As Gale reached her side, she turned. "What is this mark?"

When he didn't answer, she followed his gaze ahead. She stood back up slowly. The trees surrounding the path on either side were gouged and damaged. The smaller saplings were flattened; dents and torn sheets of wood lay along the mossy shoulders.

"It's the retreat route," Gale said in a hushed voice. "They came back this way. Those are where trucks and Jeeps widened the path."

"Then we're going the right way," Katniss said.

"Yeah...but where're the Allies?" Gale whispered. "Are we ahead of or behind them?"

"You mean..." Katniss stopped.

"I'm not sure if there's anything between us and that army."

"Oh." Katniss was suddenly aware of how small she felt.

Jackson had come up behind them. "Let's get off the road," he suggested firmly.

Katniss hurried off the path onto the wet leaves and moss of the forest floor. Her footprints immediately disappeared and she breathed a small sigh of relief. The way was slippery and the footing harder to find but she still felt safer as they continued their walk north.

As the afternoon dragged on and the sun threatened to abandon them, Katniss felt her hunger take hold. She could see the men struggling to keep up and wondered how they had managed this long with all their heavy gear. She'd panicked when she'd lost everything but her emergency kit in her pocket, but now it was a relief. She scanned the forest floor for berries or nuts.

She froze. "Gale."

"What?"

"Shhh. Your gun. Everyone. Shhhh."

The group looked at one another with curiosity. _Would they take an order from a woman? A nurse whose title alone was ceremonial?_ Gale looked at his CO, but Jackson shrugged. The choice was his. Gale looked at Katniss, frozen in place. He saw Boggs shaking his head vehemently. He took a deep breath and handed over his gun.

Katniss lined up her shot. She breathed. Exhaled. Fired.

The deer hit the ground a millisecond.

"Holy shit." Boggs stared. "Did you just...did you just shoot a deer?"

"It's nearly dusk, perfect for a real fire," she told Jackson. "We need to eat to keep up this pace." Jackson stared at her.

"Oh my God!" Messalla ran over to the deer. "You gotta see this beau-"

His words were suddenly silenced. The crack echoed. Katniss saw a dark stain begin to spread over his right lung. She screamed. The gunfire erupted.

"Shit!" Gale kicked her legs out from underneath her and she fell, scattering leaves in a halo around her. She rolled behind a tree and peeked out.

"What's happening?" she called, but no one answered. The men had dived behind the thick trunks around them and were taking shots at the source of the gunfire. It seemed to surround them, filling the air with noise and showers of splinters as the bullets lodged in trees and grazed branches.

Katniss saw Aurelius on his stomach, crawling through the leaves and pulling himself behind larger stumps as he crept forward. Messalla, she realized. She watched him struggle his way over.

Closing her eyes, she threw herself onto her stomach and began to follow him. She struggled along, pulling herself through the dirt and covering her face as the firefight raged overhead. A puff of dirt shot up in front of her and she realized they were firing at her. She rolled behind a tree and gasped for air. She glanced ahead and could see two faces hidden in the trees ahead. She was looking at brown eyes when a pink mist burst forth from between his eyes and he crumpled. She stared as the body slid out from the tree shield and landed in disarray on the ground. She covered her mouth and closed her eyes.

Opening them again, she saw Aurelius had reached Messalla. She gritted her teeth and crawled out from behind the tree.

Aurelius had pulled him behind a cluster of wide, low boulders so he could bend over the body protected while he worked. Katniss watched him rip a small surgical kit from his vest and lean over to Messalla's ear. The injured man squirmed and cried. Katniss placed her shaking hands on either side of his face as Aurelius cut open his shirt to see the hole.

The young man sputtered blood up onto her hands. She grimaced.

"Just hang on," she gritted through her teeth. "It'll be okay, Messalla. It'll be okay." But he didn't hear her. She looked at his face. His eyes watched the sky without seeing.

His hair was still warm in Katniss's hands.

Aurelius looked up at her. "He's dead."

"But. But...I can help. I'm a nurse."

"You can't help," Aurelius said. He reached down and ripped off Messalla's dog tags. He pocketed them and began to stuff his kit back into his vest. He bent down and closed the lids over the unseeing eyes. "Be at peace, my friend," he whispered.

Katniss stood up. "But-"

A body slammed her back down. Boggs was on her, holding her to the ground. "Stay down, Katniss!"

She punched Boggs in the leg and tried to roll to Messalla when Boggs stepped on her back while he fired into the fray. She arched her neck up to look out over the carnage. It had grown darker and little points of lights sparked up in the trees now. They looked like fireflies in the fields at home. But the screams told Katniss she was not home.

Boggs moved his boot off her back to get a better firing position and she rolled away. She hauled herself up to her knees and looked out from behind the boulders.

There were four dead soldiers in grey uniforms littering the forest floor when the last bullet rang out. She looked back to her team and saw Odair shaking splinter dust from his hair. His hand was bleeding and he streaked red through his copper locks.

"Get to Odair," Aurelius said, setting Messalla's head gently back down on the damp grass. "It's just a graze," he went on, "I can tell from here. Antiseptic, stitch it up, move on."

"Messalla," she whispered.

"Katniss. He's gone."

She stared at Aurelius. He pushed her shoulder until she faced where Odair was examining his bleeding palm. "Go, Katniss. Go."

* * *

Katniss watched them set up camp that night. She felt Messalla's absence as though there was an announcement playing constantly overhead. No one else heard it.

Gale was at her side. "Katniss? Are you all right?"

She looked up at him. His hazel eyes were very pretty.

"I'm...will you walk with me?"

"Sure," he murmured. She waited until they were far away from the clearing before she turned and pressed her mouth to his roughly.

"Wait," Gale said quickly, pulling back. Katniss stilled her hands on her buttons. "Um. I've got a girl. At home. I mean," he blushed. "I think you're really nice-"

"I'm not asking to be your girl," Katniss said.

He blinked. "But..."

"It's just a quick screw, Gale." She grew frustrated.

He stammered. "I mean. Bristol and I are going to get married." He swallowed hard. "When I get home."

"Forget it," she snapped. Katniss stomped away.

Mitchell was a much easier target. Katniss gestured for him to follow her for firewood. He didn't even ask her where they should go. When she pulled open her coverall, he immediately dropped his rifle to unzip his fly.

He was clumsy and she guessed he was practicing for a girl back home too. He tried to apologize after for its brevity, but she was already pulling the suit up and walking back to the camp with a few short stumps and sticks clutched in her fist.


	7. Chapter 7

Merry Christmas to all you in FF world!

_(and this German could probably use some work, but it's not needed to follow the story) updated: thank you, Mini13 and darkenedruby for your translation help! _

They had moved out of the woods by the morning. Too many hiding places, Jackson had said quietly. The team had nodded. Katniss could tell Mitchell was watching her but she refused to look at him. She'd gotten what she needed and didn't need him anymore.

Jackson had guessed it was a scouting crew, just as they had been. Boggs said he recognized one of the soldiers they buried as one who had attacked them and Pollux thought that would have made sense; they'd be the last to retreat as a team sent to hamper the Allied advance north would linger.

The group found the edge of the forest within ten minutes and clung to the border between the woods and the meadow beyond. It was vast but trees were on the other side.

"I think we're north of Lyon," Boggs said after an hour of painful quiet. He was examining a map. "Based on the terrain we've been passing on the past few days I think we're about a week out from Strasbourg. I think."

They eyed each other. They should have met up with more units by now. They shouldn't be alone. Katniss wondered if they'd ended up in Switzerland by how bitter the nights were growing. She couldn't imagine they were heading the right direction but the sun rose to her right and set to her left so they must be headed north.

"What is that?" Odair broke her daydream.

Katniss looked up ahead. There was something ahead in the distance. It was moving.

They all peered ahead.

"What is it, Odair?" Jackson murmured, tense. She saw his hand move to his sidearm.

Finnick had his binoculars out and was squinting through the cracked lenses. He lowered them slowly.

"It's a Kraut."

"Just the one?" Jackson asked. "Scan the woods."

"Would've fired on us by now," Gale called up.

"He's dragging something...I think it's a body," Odair said. "Can't tell if the second one's alive or not."

Jackson nodded. "Go get him."

Katniss watched Odair and Pollux take off immediately, jogging lightly. Her chest tightened as they started yelling at the soldier to Stop and Einhalt zu gebieten. She could hear the figure calling something back. There was something about the German soldier's voice that made her fearful. It was desperate and sad. She waited for gunshots and held her breath.

When they didn't come she knew something was wrong. Jackson called forward, asking what was happening.

"Sir, he's unarmed!" Odair called back. His voice sounded odd. "Aurelius. Katniss. He's wounded!"

Katniss glanced at Jackson. "Go. Careful," he added, eyeing the trees. "Could be a trap."

She jogged forward. When she reached them, she gagged.

The young soldier was dragging a corpse of a dead soldier using his coat as a sled. The skin of the corpse was scattered with green and purple patches; blood pooling irregularly as he was dragged. Katniss could see he'd been an older man, maybe forties. He'd been dead at least two days and the open air was affecting him severely. She looked up at the distraught young man, begging and pleading with Pollux.

He was fair with ashy blond hair but his skin was filthy and bruised. His eyes were unfocused, swollen and red. His uniform had small holes that looked scorched over the torn shirt and left leg. His left hand was heavily bandaged but yellow pus was seeping through with the bloody patches. His right hand was raw from dragging the heavy body.

"Ich muss ihn nach Hause nehmen. Meinen Vater," he gasped. He looked at Katniss in despair. "Wir gehen nach Hause. Home. We have to go home."

Odair looked and Katniss. "He's delirious or something. He keeps saying he's taking his father home."

She looked back at the body. "He's been dead for days," she whispered. She looked at Pollux. "Doesn't he see that?"

Pollux looked at the soldier. "Er ist tot, Junge," he said softly. "Er wird nicht nach Hause gehen."

The young man suddenly fell to his knees. Katniss jumped and Odair grabbed his rifle. "Don't do that," Odair breathed. "No sudden moves."

"Ich kann ihn nich verlassen," the German soldier sobbed. "I cannot leave him. Sie töteten ihn, weil wir wegliefen. Er hat mich raus muss ihn nach Hause nehmen."

"What is he saying?" Katniss whispered to Pollux.

"They kill him-" the boy choked off, drawing gasping breaths. "Sie töteten ihn, weil wir wegliefen. Er hat mich raus geholt. Ich muss ihn nach Hause bringen." He doubled over and rested his forehead against the disfigured corpse. Katniss swallowed back the bile.

Pollux shook his head. "He's saying something…that they killed his dad because he got him out," he shrugged. "Think they were POWs?"

"By us?" Aurelius scoffed. "Look at that dressing, that's not trained work."

Pollux looked at the sobbing figure. "Wer hat ihn getötet?"

The young man looked up through his tears. "Schnee."

Pollux blinked. "Snow?"

"What's that?" Katniss asked.

"Not snow. Schnee," the soldier tried.

"General Schnee?" Odair asked. "He's commanding the offense against Dragoon. Why?" he looked at Pollux.

"What's going – Jesus!" Jackson was behind Katniss now. "What the hell?"

"It's his father," Katniss murmured. "He's trying to take his body home."

Gale whispered loudly. "He'll never make it without that body falling apart." The young soldier was trying to struggle to his feet, but now that he was down he couldn't get back up.

"Katniss, fix that hand of his," Jackson said. "He's going to get gangrene. You," he pointed to Gale and Mitchell, "dig a hole."

"With what?" Gale asked, looking around. "We ditched all our gear."

"It doesn't have to be too deep," Jackson said. "Just a layer. Try the woods over there."

Odair and Pollux pulled the soldier away from his father's corpse. When Gale and Mitchell moved to the body, the German soldier struggled uselessly and called for his father. It was agonized and painful to hear. Katniss waited until he was too exhausted to fight anymore and knelt in front of where he'd collapsed.

"I'm a nurse. A medic," she said gently, pointing to the red cross painted on her uniform. "Can I see?" She pointed at the wounded hand. He made no effort to lift it as he stared after the soldier dragging the body into the woods off the dusty road. She took his hand carefully and unwound the dirty bandage.

He was missing the last two joints of his left pinky and the first knuckle of his ring finger. The small finger looked cauterised, but she could see the infection had set in around the ring finger. Scratches ran up his arm. She pulled the torn sleeve back easily and saw a sliver of metal sticking out of an infected wound on his forearm. She breathed hard through her nose.

"It looks like shrapnel," Aurelius muttered over her shoulder, pulling a syringe from his field kit. "Pollux, ask him what caused this." Pollux did.

The boy answered Pollux. He sounded exhausted. Pollux gritted his teeth.

"Says they had him bury landmines after they retreated. One went off. He was behind someone else; that kid died, but it took his fingers."

The boy said something more.

Pollux frowned. "Was meinst du damit, entkommen?"

The young soldier looked to the woods. "Es war laut und die Wachen dachten das wir tot wären. Vater rannte zurück zu mir und sah das ich noch lebendig war, also zog er mich hoch und wir rannten los. Sie schossen auf ihn." He looked to Katniss. She knew what he was going to say before she heard the words in English. "They kill him. Wir entkamen in den Wald, aber," the boy shuddered, "er starb."

Katniss looked to Pollux. He was confused. "He says they were trying to get away – his father was trying to get him away." He turned to Jackson. "They were running after the blast and the father got shot. Must have died in the woods. The kid's been dragging him."

Katniss stared at the boy. She stepped to Aurelius' side and steadied the wounded arm as Aurelius drew the scraps of metal from the flesh. She reached into her pocket and found her own tube of disinfectant. He looked at her fingers spreading antiseptic on the stumps of his fingers. He looked far too young to wear a uniform.

"What's your name?" she asked.

He looked into her eyes. She saw his eyes were blue.

"Peeta."

"I'm Katniss." She offered a gentle smile.

He looked down at his hand again.

Jackson looked at the wound Katniss was gingerly cleaning. "He going to lose that hand?"

"I don't think so. Looks like he at least cleaned it before he bandaged it," Aurelius called back to him. "And most of it's cauterized."

Odair shuddered involuntarily. "What do we do with him?"

Boggs sauntered back. "We can't take him with us. Look at him, he'll slow us down."

Katniss gripped Peeta's wounded forearm inadvertently. He winced. She turned. "You're not going to shoot an unarmed kid!"

"No, he's not," Jackson said quickly. "We'll take him with us to the next camp and leave him with another group of prisoners."

"No!" Peeta tried to stand and unraveled the fresh bandage Katniss had begun to wind around his hand. "I have to go home."

"You're not going anywhere," Pollux said, aiming his rifle at Peeta quickly. "Now settle down."

"I have to go home! Ich muss nach Hause gehen!" He grabbed Katniss's wrist. "My mother and brothers. My sister. I have to go home," he begged.

Gale was at her side and used his boot to shove the boy called Peeta away from her.

"Stop it!" she cried out. "He's wounded!"

Peeta had fallen backwards onto his side and was grimacing. He curled into a ball on the dirt road. Katniss crawled over him and looked at the bruised and scraped ribs visible through the shredded shirt.

"Are your ribs all right? Are they broken?" she felt along the ribcage. He winced.

"Sorry, I just…" Gale trailed off.

Katniss shook her head. "I know," she muttered. "It's fine. They're not broken. It just looks like he fell against this side when the landmine went off."

Peeta started to cry again. "Vater."

"Water?" Katniss asked.

"No, that means Father," Pollux murmured.

Katniss looked over to the wood where Gale and Mitchell had covered the body. She could still feel where the boy's fingers had gripped her wrist. She reached down and pulled Peeta to his feet. "You need to say goodbye to him. Your father." She leaned closer. "He's not going home."

Peeta crumpled. She caught him around his waist. Odair darted forward and hauled the boy's uninjured arm over his shoulders.

"Help him to the woods," Katniss said.

"Everdeen, we're on a schedule," Jackson warned.

"It's five minutes!" She rounded on him, eyes blazing."It's his father. Give him five minutes!"

She looked at Jackson until he was obligated to look away. "Fine. Five minutes. Longer than that we shoot him."

Katniss and Odair moved to him. "We're going to take you to say goodbye," she whispered to him. He nodded, his eyes towards the woods.

She held the German soldier's upper arm to lead him to the makeshift burial site. She could feel his bicep tense as they got closer. She could see the thin layer of disturbed earth just within the edge of the trees.

At the foot of his father's grave Peeta collapsed again.

Katniss stared. She knew this pain.

Odair coughed. "Give him some privacy," she muttered. "Back off a little."

"He could run."

She looked at Peeta crawl to the side of the mound. His unbandaged fingers searched through the loose earth and he found the stiff, bloated hand. He held it and wept. "He's not going to run."

She watched him say goodbye enviously.

Gale came into the woods exactly five minutes later to retrieve them and helped the boy to his feet. They tripped over roots and fallen branches until they were back to the dusty road.

"I have to go home," Peeta pleaded again, this time to Jackson. "My family is alone now." He looked at Pollux. "Sie brauchen mich jetzt."

Jackson shook his head. "I can't let you just go off, kid. Sorry. You have to come north with us."

Pollux began to translate Billing's words, but Peeta shook his head, already understanding. "Bitte! Snow will go by!"

"You're coming with us," Jackson told him with finality.

Peeta tried to pull away from Odair and Gale. Boggs caught him in the stomach with the butt of his rifle.

"Stop it!" Katniss shoved Boggs away from him. "He's a kid!"

"He's a Nazi!"

"He's about as Nazi as you," Odair muttered. "You think an SS drags a dead body across France?"

Boggs eyed the wheezing youth hunched over in front of him. "He'll run right to Hitler with the rest of 'em."

"He'd run home," Katniss snarled.

Boggs rolled his eyes and turned away. Katniss helped Peeta back up to his feet. He was still pleading to Jackson. "I must go."

Jackson ignored him. "Let's get moving. Gale, Odair, you're watching the Kraut this shift. Move out."

* * *

He stumbled along with them unwilling. When he fell too far behind, Gale gently tapped him to move faster. Katniss walked between Peeta and Boggs. She couldn't stop looking at him.

It was the closest she'd been to a German soldier since she landed. Looking closely, she realized if he'd been in an Allied uniform she might not be able to tell him from the other men in her outfit. Except that he looked younger.

"How old are you?" she blurted out.

Peeta glanced over. Gale did as well.

"Uh, wie viele Jahre?" she struggled. "Du?"

"Seventeen," he answered in English.

"They let you sign up at seventeen?" Odair asked.

"I did not 'sign up'," the boy said, watching the dust kicking up from the soldier's boots walking in front of him.

Katniss wanted to ask what he meant, but he did not offer any more information. She looked at Odair and he shrugged.

When they stopped for the night, she was ready to collapse. Jackson had insisted they make up the time they'd stopped to bury Peeta's father and she was sure they'd walked farther than anyone had planned to.

"Boggs, you're on guard. Watch the kid," Jackson ordered as they unloaded backpacks into the dense cluster of brush off the road. "Everyone remember, stay low and cover yourself thoroughly. Hawthorne, you're up next on watch."

Katniss watched the men drop one by one. She eyed Boggs, checking his weapon. His eyes trained on Peeta, who had slumped against a tree and was staring at his boot laces.

She walked across their clearing to him.

"What are you doing?" Boggs asked.

"Checking his bandages. That all right with you?" she snapped. She didn't wait for a response and yanked her flashlight from her pack.

The boy watched her kneel in front of him. She pulled on the bandages and shone the light on the wounds.

"They're looking better," she told him, trying to smile. He glanced at her before his eyes found his toes again. It was so familiar. Her stomach twisted and she felt dizzy. She staggered to her feet and clambered across the clearing. She dropped into a pile by Gale.

"You all right?" he whispered.

"Yeah," she shook her head. "Just. Yes."

"What was all that about?" He thrust his chin to where Peeta stared.

She watched the blond boy heave a sigh and close his eyes.

"I've been there."


	8. Chapter 8

_Thank you, ElsterBird, mini13, thesoulwithinme, and darkenedruby for help with my German! (and please keep letting me know what to correct)_

When she woke early sunlight was glinting through intensely green leaves above her eyes. The air was sweet with flowers and birds were fluttering through the branches. Pollux and the boy were arguing heatedly.

"Es gibt Landmienen auf dieser Wiese, ich weiß es"

"He's saying there are landmines ahead," Pollux repeated, turning to Jackson.

"Because he put them there," Boggs shouted.

Katniss twisted to them. "What's happening?"

Odair had stretched the map across the fallen leaves and moss. He was bent over it, but his eyes were on the argument.

"You will die if you walk this way!" Peeta cried out. "This road takes my hand!" He held up the wrapped hand. A few leaves clung to the gauze.

Gale yawned and stretched. Katniss climbed to her feet and stumbled over, rubbing her eyes.

"What's going on?" she asked.

Jackson frowned at the map. "He's saying the route we're taking goes through the mines he planted."

"Is he lying?" Boggs asked, handing Katniss a pack of crackers. She took a few and handed the pack to Gale when he walked over.

"Why would he lie?" Odair asked.

"Send us on the wrong way?" Jackson suggested. "Give them time to retreat further?"

"Let's make him walk out in front," Boggs threw out. "That'll get the truth out."

"Is there another route around this road?" Katniss leaned over the map.

"Nothing faster," Pollux answered. He sighed. "Maybe Boggs is right."

"Boggs is never right," Odair said. Katniss tried to hide her smile.

"I will walk in front."

A silence fell upon them. They turned and looked at Peeta. He spoke again.

"I will walk in front. This is how I go home. This road goes home. I will walk in front and show you the mines if I can go home."

"That's madness," Katniss said. "You can't remember where they all are."

"I marked them. For me," he told her. "I put a pattern of stones in the dirt." He looked to Jackson. "It is not a mile; shorter than that of mines. We did not have many and I cannot build more. I do this and you let me go to my family."

"I can't make a trade like that," Jackson said. "I can't let a prisoner go."

"Please," Peeta begged. "My mother is alone now. She needs me to come home. I have to help with the children." His eyes found Katniss. "It is on the road."

Katniss looked at Jackson. He shook his head.

"We could take him to his house," she said quietly. "So she can see he's alive," she added as Jackson shot her a glare. She set her jaw. "So he can tell her that her husband's never coming home." She turned back to Peeta. "Can you agree to that? You show us the safe route and we'll let you see your family. But you have to go on with us."

It appeared as though he wanted to protest, but taking in the surrounding weapons, he gave up. "All right," he nodded, his shoulders slumping. "As long as I can see they are safe."

Jackson pulled Katniss aside as they packed up camp. "You need to be careful, Everdeen."

"What?"

"He's not one of us."

She glanced over his shoulder. Next to Boggs' muscles and scruffy growth, the sparse blond whiskers growing unevenly on his chin made Peeta look even younger.

"He's just a kid."

"He's a Nazi soldier, Everdeen," Jackson hissed firmly. "Don't forget that."

* * *

Katniss caught up with Peeta's cautious steps. "What are their names?"

"Pardon?" he asked her.

"Your brothers."

"Hans and Frier," he said. "Hans is 14 and Frier is 11. They are a handful," he admitted as he thought of them. "Hans is better but Frier makes my sister cry. He pulls her hair."

"How old is your sister?"

"Prim is four. She is the only girl. My father loved her very much." He fell silent again. Katniss coughed. He looked to her. "You have brothers?"

"No," she said. "It was just me."

"You are not lonely?" he asked genuinely.

"No," she smile. "I was always with my father." Her smile evaporated.

He looked to the road. "He will be happy when you are home."

"He died. Here." She took a few deep breaths against the weight on her chest.

"Your mother," he murmured. "She knows?"

"She knows."

"This is good. To know. To not know is bad."

She pictured a woman with green eyes and ashy blond hair waiting at a window for her husband and son to come home, not knowing if they ever would. A woman in a black dress by a yellow ribbon on a porch in Virginia.

"Knowing is good," she agreed bitterly.

* * *

"It is wrong that they used this road," Peeta grumbled, digging stones from the pavement. He had spotted his mine marker ten yards out and Katniss had followed him back another twenty yards to dig out stones to set them off. It was too dangerous to get close and pull up the Bouncing Betties.

"You did it," Boggs began, but Katniss elbowed him.

"The peasants, the people who work," Peeta explained. "They use this road to get to the town. To sell food. Now they must use the woods. There are animals in there. And soldiers," he said, glancing back.

"Allied soldiers don't kill civilians," Katniss gasped.

"They take their food. And their goods," Peeta said.

"That's not true!"

"Yes it is," Odair said softly.

Katniss looked at him. "What?"

"This is my second tour, Al. You'd be surprised what you'll do when you're starving."

"My mother, she says we help the Allies when they come." Peeta started on a new stone. "So you will go help her family at home."

"What?" Boggs asked.

"Mother is from Poland. My father is traveling before he becomes a teacher," Peeta grunted as he pulled the stone out of the ground. "She comes back here with him. But her father and sister are in Poland. She worries they are not alive anymore. She wants the Allies to come so they will be safe."

"Then why'd you join up with the Nazis?" Boggs spat at him. "You hate your mother or something?"

Peeta looked at him in horror. "I do not hate my mother! My mother is a good woman!" He stood up. Katniss moved in front of him before Boggs could shoulder his weapon.

"Then why are you a soldier?" she asked. "Why are you fighting?"

Peeta turned his eyes to her. "They came at night. Schnee and his friends. They are joining the Nazis. He knows my father is smart. He studied the army history in school. They want him to come with them. He refuses." Katniss saw a shudder go through his body. He knelt back down at the stones. He did not dig again. "Schnee says he knows Mama is Polish. He says that my brothers, my sister, we are unclean. He says if my father does not go with them he will tell the Nazis about Mama and the children." Peeta looked at Boggs. "He has to go. He loves Mama. He loves my brothers and sister." He picked up a rock and stared at it. "They take him out the door. I am so angry. I try to hit Schnee, to get my father back. Schnee says I am strong. I will go with them. Papa says I am too young, but Schnee says I will go.

"It has been a long time," he mumbled. "Papa showed them the roads. But they have more scientists and teachers soon. They make Papa cook now. I do not know how to fight. I cannot shoot a gun well. I shoot a rebel soldier in Paris and I cannot shoot a gun again," he confessed. Katniss saw it raw and living on his nerves. "So they have me bury mines." He looked at his lost fingers. "They go up sometimes.

"We try to get away a few times. To go home and make sure Schnee keeps his word. But we are found out." He stopped. Katniss realized she knew where the story went from there. He started to dig at a fresh rock. Boggs cleared his throat, but he couldn't find any words. Pollux was looking back to where camp was, pretending not to hear.

"There we are," Peeta said, hauling a rock into his arms. "I cannot shoot, but I throw well," he told Katniss. "I would throw the ball at school the farthest."

He took three steps from her towards the road. He stood very still. Peeta tossed the rock forward. It sailed in a perfect arc and landed on the marker in the road. The mine popped and showered dirt down on the road. Katniss uncovered her ears and coughed as dirt wafted over to them.

"Jesus," Boggs whistled.

"How did you do that?" Katniss stared.

"Do?" Peeta asked.

"Throw it like that."

He shrugged. "I see the path and let the rock follow. You try?" He handed her a heavy rock. She lined up the view. She threw it. It arced and fell off the road into the trees.

"Damn. I'm better with a rifle," she muttered.

"It is not the same." he shook his head. "You have to see the arc," he told her. He handed her another rock. She moved to take it and he held her palm in his fingers. "Do you see the marker you want to hit?"

She looked ahead. She could see the small pile of stones. "Yes."

"See the path in the air."

She glanced nervously at him and looked at the space over the marker. The clouds hung low in the sky and she imagined the fluffy white cloud dipped down to guide the rock.

"Throw the stone."

It felt like the sky took the stone from her hand. She watched it sail with precision. It was nearly at the marker when Peeta suddenly cried out, "Cover your ears!" She clamped her palms over her ears and the mine exploded.

She was laughing as they shook dirt and tiny stones from their hair. "Nice work, Everdeen." Boggs looked stunned. "Didn't think you had an arm like that."

"My dad taught me to throw a baseball," she smirked. "I wasn't bad."

"What is Everdeen?" Peeta asked.

"My name. I'm Katniss Everdeen," she flushed.

"Oh."

"What's your last name?" she asked, realizing she did not know.

"Mellark. Peeta Mellark."

"It's nice to meet you, Peeta Mellark," she said, extending her hand. He looked at it for a moment before he took it and they shook hello.

Boggs eyed Katniss. He looked to Peeta.

* * *

"There!"

Peeta's joyful cry mirrored the happiness in his eyes. He ran for the house.

Katniss took it in. Settled back off the road fifty feet, it was nestled in a shallow valley between the greenest trees she'd ever seen. The field behind it stretched to the horizon, with patches of tall and young trees stretching towards the blue and white marbled sky. It was like finding heaven after walking through hell. Maybe she was just tired after walking for five more days.

He ran past her and she laughed as Odair shouted for him to stay. He was long gone; the anxiety of the past two days' walk dissipating with each step. His happiness melted a few of her own cares. She was grateful for a reprieve from the gray cloud over her.

He disappeared inside the front door, calling for his mother.

"Damn kids," Boggs scoffed.

"Leave him be," Katniss muttered. "He's home. It's what we all hope for."

She crossed the lawn, dotted with wild flowers. She frowned slightly at the neat garden. Weeds were popping up between the crocuses. They seemed out of place with the tidy little house and perfectly stacked woodpile.

She realized she didn't hear his voice.

"Peeta?"

There was no answer.

"Peeta!"

She ran inside. The screen door slammed behind her. She tore to the first bedroom inside the door as she heard Gale bang inside the house close by.

The full-sized bed was unmade and unkempt. Things were scattered on the floor: a hairbrush, a candlestick, a slipper. A small cot opposite the bed had been knocked over. The mattress was crumpled like a piece of paper. She ran to the next room. Two of the three twin beds were unmade as well. A mirror was broken. There was a red smear on the floor.

She stumbled out of the bedroom as Gale stepped out of the first. His eyes were wide, looking past her into the small sitting room in the back of the house.

She now saw Peeta. Frozen in place. She forced her legs to carry her to him.

It wasn't blood on the wall. It was just red paint. Bright, angry red paint. It stretched across the wall and onto the window.

VERRÄTER.

"Traitor." Pollux whispered it out loud as he entered the living room.

The dry road would have hidden the footsteps of the German soldiers as they retreated in front of the team. It could have been days ago. Maybe yesterday. But they would have gotten here before they did. And if they'd picked them up at home, they knew where he would go. And who would be waiting.

"Hawthorne."

Odair's soft voice came from outside the kitchen door that split the living room and kitchen by the graffitied window. Gale stepped around Peeta. Peeta was still staring at the words, unable to move. Katniss followed Gale silently.

Odair's back was to the door, looking at a small cluster of trees before the rows of vegetables started in the garden. He turned at the sound of their footsteps.

"No, Katniss. Go back inside!" he ordered quickly.

It was too late. She'd seen the pale blue child's foot jutting out from behind the tree. She gasped and cried out, falling to her knees.

Peeta was outside in a heartbeat. "Vat-" He stopped.

Gale, Aurelius and Odair had to drag him back inside as he screamed. Katniss found the chloroform in her bag and knocked him out so he wouldn't hurt himself thrashing wildly on the floor. Gale and Aurelius dragged him to the first bedroom and laid him out on his parents' bed. What used to be his parents' bed, she remembered. They were both gone now.

Katniss stayed by him, unable to go out and see what was left of his family, their corpses piled carelessly like rags. She held Peeta's motionless hand and stared at the single slipper on the floor.

He awoke when dusk had begun to fall. He looked up at her. She didn't need to say anything. He rolled onto his side and faced the wall.

Odair came in. "Um. We're ready." He looked at Peeta's back. "It was quick, Peeta. One bullet in the head. They weren't in pain."

"They were afraid," he told the wall. "They were alone."Katniss touched his shoulder. She left him and walked to the living room.

Gale had dirt on his hands and was sweating after the effort of digging. She watched him rinse his hands in the sink. The water sputtered brown then ran clear. "It was only a few days," she noted.

"Four. Maybe five," Aurelius muttered from the corner. "I'd say four."

Peeta stumbled into the living room. Aurelius moved to take his arm, but Peeta pushed him away. He staggered towards the door and fell into the evening air.

Katniss followed. He was kneeling at the small mound of fresh earth just within the tree line. He crumpled and pressed his face to the ground. She could hear the weeping through the blades of grass.

She stared at the little wooden crosses.

"You hung their shoes," she whispered as Gale came to stand by her.

"I didn't remember their names," he confessed, watching Peeta begin to retch. "I wanted…I don't know."

She looked at the short row of crosses. "Three."

"Yeah. It was a woman and two boys."

"Three." It was louder.

"Katniss?"

"No little girl?"

"What? No," Gale said. "What?"

"There's a little girl," she heard herself yelling. "She's four! She's a little girl! Where is she?"

Peeta was sitting up. The dirt created tracks on his face where the tears were streaking through. "Katniss?"

"Where's Prim?" She was yelling now. "Where is she?"

Peeta half-crawled, half-stumbled over and grabbed Gale's arm. "Where is my sister?"

"What? What?" Gale tried to pull away from their snatching fingers.

"What the hell is going on?" Jackson was outside in minutes. Pollux and Boggs had their rifles out, but neither looked like they were planning on using them.

"There's a girl," Katniss cried out. "He's got a little sister. Where is she?"

Gale looked at Boggs. "We looked all over," Boggs confirmed. "To find the shoes. There's no little girl around here."

Peeta appeared to fall apart in front of her. "He took her," he moaned, falling back to the earth. "He took my sister." He pulled his shirt into his teeth and bit down to shriek.

Aurelius ran over with a chloroform rag, but Katniss stopped him.

"Just...let him."

They helped him back inside. Katniss pulled his shoes off and fluffed the pillow under his head. He let his head fall to the side and he said nothing. It was so familiar.

She moved to the cot across the room and straightened the mattress. She set it upright. It was so small. She realized it was his sister's. Three beds for the cherished boys; one tiny cot for the beloved girl child in her parents' room. She knew she could not sleep on it.

She walked to the living room and claimed the loveseat from Gale.

* * *

It was night when the squeaking floorboards pulled her from her frenzied dream. She heard the men around her stirring and she sighed and stretched. The kitchen door opened and closed. Her eyes flew open.

A flash of ashen gold hair moved outside the screen door.

She got up.

She crept around the shoes and packs scattered on the floor and out into the night. The moon was full and hung low in the sky. It made his hair shine silver as he rocked back and forth in front of the mound. The grass was cold on her bare feet. She debated leaving him to grieve in silence. But there was something so familiar about this. She breathed Arlington, fresh again in her eyes and ears and nose and mouth. So she walked over the lawn and knelt down next to him.

He made no noise but she could see he had wept for them long after they put him to bed. He didn't respond to her sitting by him. She chose not to speak either.

The moon passed overhead.

She felt her joints grow stiff and the dew begin to seep into her clothes. She shifted. She heard his breath catch in his throat. "Peeta?"

He broke and turned around, crawling to his feet and moving to the cluster of trees opposite where his mother and brothers had been found. She stood and followed him on aching legs. She reached to embrace him.

"Katniss, please," he cried, hiding his face against an ancient oak tree and trying to push her arms away. "Please leave me."

"Peeta, I-I-" The pain was so familiar. It sucked her inside.

Her mind went numb and blank it the way it always did when it was too much to face. She felt her arms move to his face and pulled him away from the tree to look at her.

His eyes were wet and swollen. His lips were so dark they looked bruised. They were hot against hers as she kissed him. He only hesitated for a moment. He wanted to forget too.

His hands found her shoulders, her ribs, her waist. Pulled her in tighter as they fought away the emptiness that threatened to consume them both.

The tree bark was rough against her back even through the shirt. She relished the scraping and pinching as he drove her against it. She kissed his face as he pressed his forehead into her shoulder. She bit back a shout and gripped her legs around his hips tighter. He grunted into her shoulder and she nearly fell as he pulled away. Her feet found the soft, cold ground and she felt the warmth hit her knee and trickle down her calf. His fist clutched her ribs. They were breathing hard against each other's cheeks.

He released her and stepped backward unevenly, panting. He looked at her with glassy eyes. She felt the bead of sweat traveling down her chest. He looked down and pulled his pants up to his waist, zipping them quickly and buttoning the fly. She picked up her uniform pants from the lawn and said nothing as she pulled the legs back on. He took a few steps away while she searched her hair for leaves and bark. She stilled and watched him look up at the full moon.

They watched the stars.

"I think she is scared," he whispered. "I think she is alone and frightened."

Katniss turned her face to look at him. "We'll find her," she whispered. "She's waiting for us to find her."

He blinked back a tear. "We will find her. I will bring her home."

Katniss thought of their family buried so close by. She thought of Prim in a little dress with a smocked waist and yellow flowers. Saying goodbye.

"We'll bring her home."


	9. Chapter 9

_Happy New Year! _

* * *

Peeta was near silent the following day. Katniss had been able to tend his hand with more supplies at his house, yet when his eyes met hers his gaze was far away. "I will go," he had whispered when Jackson had murmured to Katniss they still had to take him to Berlin.

"Why?" she had asked both him and the CO. "Hasn't this cost him enough?"

"I can't just start making my own rules," Jackson had said, pulling her aside and lowering his voice. He glanced back at Peeta, staring at the fresh bandage on his deformed hand. "This is already a mess, Second Lieutenant," he hissed. "We've been lost for over ten days and our team needs us. We need to catch up. And frankly," he sighed, "I don't think we can leave him here by himself." She glanced at Peeta. He had a hard determined look in his eyes.

"But-"

"He'd go after his sister three minutes after we left; they'd capture him again and you could step on the next mine he buries."

"But-"

"Or they'd kill him straight out."

"Sir-"

"Everdeen. Please stop fighting me on this. He's safer with us. Check out Odair's hand and pack up your kit. Collect whatever food is left and be ready to go in fifteen."

Katniss bit her tongue as he walked away. She didn't think Peeta was well enough to be left alone, but wondered if he was strong enough to come with them. He was going to have a hard time either way.

So they had packed out and began the long walk north.

It had been three days before they were certain they were close. Boggs had noticed some discarded food packs on the side of the road and recognized it as Allied rations. The next day yielded a dropped flashlight with an American surname stenciled on the side: "Mahoney". The fifth day, Katniss nearly wept when they came across a Jeep with a broken axel. Shell casings littered the ground.

"They're chasing the retreat," Gale breathed. "They must be right on their tails."

"And we must be right behind them!" she cheered, noting the lack of weather damage on the seats and few late fall leaves jamming the windshield wipers.

"We're just a day from a town ahead," Pollux said excitedly, manically straightening his map. "Look. We have to be here," he pointed, "if this is the advance route. We're just a few miles away!"

"Let's go!" Gale grinned.

"Wait," Katniss called. She had turned to Peeta and found him leaning around the Jeep. Gale watched her as she crossed to him. "What's wrong?" she asked. His eyes were wide. He stepped carefully to the roadside.

"What's he doing?" Boggs was concerned. He followed Peeta. He called back. "Hey, come over here."

Katniss breathed in as they reached the ditch. The stones and makeshift branch crosses told her what she needed to know. Not everyone had moved out from here. There were two lumps of fresh dirt; a grave for Allied forces and a grave for German soldiers. A green helmet marked the former; hanging on the largest cross at the head. A Luftwaffe helmet marked the latter.

"C'mon," Jackson said. "They're not coming with us." He turned. Boggs reached out, more gentle than customary, and pulled on Peeta's arm to get him moving. Katniss hoped her nagging had finally softened Boggs after all these days. They walked forward, seeing footsteps in the earth. Katniss saw traces of the frost left even late morning. It would be a hard winter soon.

Peeta stopped suddenly in front of her and she walked smack into him.

"What's the big idea?" Boggs complained. Peeta took three steps off the road. Boggs went to follow him and Katniss grabbed his arm.

"Boggs," she warned through gritted teeth. He scowled.

Peeta was bending down, pulling something from the mud, trampled under hundreds of boots. He stood slowly. He turned to them. Katniss covered her mouth. Even with the mud, she could see traces of a pink in the child's hair ribbon. "Is it hers?" she finally asked.

"I think. Yes."

She looked at Gale. He looked to Jackson. Jackson looked at Peeta helplessly. "Look, kid." Peeta looked up, his eyes filled with pain. "We'll meet up with a large front. I'll tell the scouting teams we're looking for a kid, ok? Who knows, someone may have already found her. She may have escaped already! She may be with our troops already. We'll only know if we keep moving."

There was a tense moment of silence before Peeta nodded and began to walk ahead. Katniss saw him tuck the filthy ribbon into his pocket.

* * *

"There!" Pollux was as giddy as a child. "Look!"

Katniss swallowed back tears of joy. The town sat in the valley beneath them. They stood on the hill; frozen lest the town disappear if they moved. A flurry of activity clothed in olive drab moved below them. Gale whooped and nearly took off running until Jackson hollered for them to keep in formation so as not to scare the troops below and evoke friendly fire. They hurried nonetheless.

Jackson took point as they entered and scanned frantically for the command post. "Look!" Aurelius pointed to the medical tent. "I'm headed over."

Jackson nodded. "Katniss, you best go to."

"What about-" she began.

"Jackson? Holy shit!" A man with a greying beard jogged over. "My God, we thought you were dead! We've had a memorial," he breathed.

"I bet it was endearing," Finnick grinned.

"Well, we tried our best with you, Odair," the bearded man cracked and Finnick laughed. "Jesus, it's good to see you. C'mon, the General's visiting. He's gonna be floored you made it."

"We look like hell," Gale said, removing his helmet and smoothing his matted hair.

"More than usual, even," Pollux laughed.

"Pollux! Didn't even see you back there. Thank God - we need help. There are a ton of civilians here; Nazis had this town occupied. All sorts of dialects I can't figure out, we need you to interview the people and find out what's going on, where they need to go."

"Sure thing," Pollux nodded.

"Peeta can help you," Katniss blurted out.

The bearded man looked at her. "And you are, ma'am?"

"Second Lieutenant Katniss Everdeen. Army nurse. I was separated from the 94th Evac Hospital."

"Pleased to meet a survivor," he said. "I'm Colonel Frank Bowden. Who's this?" He gestured to Peeta.

"He was taken by the Germans to work for them," she said quickly. "Burying mines."

"Why's he wearing a uniform?"

"He can help Pollux translate. Can't he?" Katniss looked at her group frantically. "He's a prisoner soldier but he can help us. He located mines all the way here; saved our lives. He can help you." She turned to Jackson. "He can."

Jackson looked over at her. He took a breath. "Yeah. He can help Pollux. For now." He looked at Peeta, whose wide eyes were staring. "Help Pollux translate the dialects."

He nodded to Jackson, then turned to Bowden tentatively. "Sir, please. Does Schnee come through here on retreat? His men pass through?"

"Commander Schnee? Yeah. But just a few of them; our advance caught up a few miles back and blasted half of them off the face of the earth."

Peeta looked stricken. "Was anyone with them?" Katniss asked. "Other prisoners?"

"Dunno; half of them got away. They came through here about a week ago; joined up with the retreating groups from here. There might be someone here who saw them."

"Start translating now," she said to Pollux. "Please."

She watched Peeta follow Pollux to a cluster of tenements; his face was white.

Jackson glanced over at her before following Bowden to the command tent. "Help search the buildings for survivors," he told Gale over his shoulders.

Boggs shook his head at Katniss. "Watch yourself, girlie," he murmured. "We can't protect him forever. It'll come down to him or you and you better know what side you're on." He left her to follow Jackson.

"C'mon," Gale nudged her. "Let's go."

"Do you think he's right? Boggs?" she asked Gale, jogging after the tall man.

Gale paused a moment before answering. "Yes."

She fell silent.

The houses in the town center were near ruined; the soldiers had destroyed nearly everything of value as they fled. Furniture was broken and burned; windows smashed to keep the larger houses from becoming hospitals or barracks. Katniss saw cardboard going up in windows despite of the damage. The houses were less damaged in the pastures and near the small church set into the hill; they must have been the housing for the higher ranking generals.

Katniss followed Gale to a row of townhouses nearing the edge of town that wasn't marked as searched. He took the red door to the left, she took the home with the green door and knocked.

"Hey." She turned. Gale was holding out his sidearm. "Take this. In case there are more than prisoners around here," he explained. She took it and he disappeared into the house with his rifle raised.

"Hello?" She opened her door and stepped in. She coughed. Dust and ash had settled over the remaining furniture. It was dark. She looked for a light but found only an oil lamp. She searched the mantle over the small fireplace until she located a box of matches. The oil offered a feeble light, but it did help.

Climbing the stairs, she found two small bedrooms upstairs with clothes thrown about but no inhabitants. She thought it appeared less dusty up here, but she wasn't certain. She had descended again and was about to walk out the door when she heard something. A thump? A boot? What was that? She froze.

The kitchen was behind her; she hadn't thought to look in an open room. But nonetheless, the noise had come from that direction. She tiptoed breathlessly to the open archway. She poked her head in.

The room was empty. She exhaled and smiled at herself.

Then she saw the cellar door. She made a strangled squeak as she gripped a dishtowel draped over the back of a chair. Her breathing was labored as she forced her feet to the narrow door.

It opened with a screech. Something clucked below, was it an animal? Was it a person gulping? She could hear movements. She knew someone was there. Whether they knew she knew could mean life or death.

She stepped down one step. Another. Time stopped. She heard a click.

"I'm a nurse!" she shouted, holding up her gun simultaneously and the oil lamp. It tumbled from her hands immediately.

The frail woman with white hair and trembling hands cried out and covered her face. The old man with the sling on his arm tried to step in front of something behind him. A sidestep revealed a small boy: dirty jacket and trousers, shorn hair, and a drawn face. Katniss stared at their torn clothes and sunken eyes.

"Gale!" she cried to the top of the stairs. "Civilians!"

She turned back to them. "I'm a nurse. I'm here to help you."

The old man looked up. "Allied?" His accent was thick.

"American."

The woman began to cry and smile. "American!" She turned and revealed the scrawny little boy with a vacant stare.

Katniss stared in awe. She turned as Gale hopped down the stairs. "There's a kid down here," she breathed.

"A what?"

Odair appeared and jogged down the top few steps. She looked up at him. "Where's Peeta?"

"Outside. More civilians down here?"

"Yeah. There's an old couple and a little boy. They need help."

Odair disappeared to find where the infirmary and she helped the older couple up the stairs. She reached for the little boy's hand but he shrunk away. An orphan now, she realized. Like Peeta. She thought of her mother again.

Odair returned. "Aurelius says the infirmary's going in that dance hall down the street. Do they need a doctor?" He glanced over.

"They look hungry, but I don't see any evident injuries." The little boy stuck his thumb in his mouth in response. "I'm going to check some other houses," she murmured. She hadn't found what she was looking for yet. But if one child could survive, maybe two could survive.

Katniss headed to the next house over. Inside one German officer was spitting at a British soldier guiding him out of the house with his rifle.

"Any prisoners in here?"

"No, miss," the Brit scowled. "Just this charming gentleman."

She smiled and hurried to the next house. It had already been emptied. So was the next. She sighed.

She stepped outside to find a number of houses being emptied. For every injured German officer left behind by the retreat, there were ten civilians that had been trapped with them. They emerged from their hiding places dazed and fearful, unsure of what would happen now. Her eyes ran up and down the street. There were no little girls missing a pink hair ribbon.

She spied Peeta's blond hair as he glanced distractedly away from the officer trying to sort out who he was accepting surrender from. She saw his shoulders sag as he came to understand what she did.

Odair's voice was at her side. "I take it no sister?"

"No," she breathed.

"There's still a number of towns going north," he offered. "We might find her. You can get word to him she's alive."

"What?"

"They're going to send the German officers to the prison camp five miles west," Odair said slowly. "He's going to have to go with them."

She stared.

"Katniss, he's still German."

"He's been helping us for over a week. You still think he's the enemy?"

"It doesn't matter what I think." He set his eyes on her. "And it doesn't matter what you think either."

She shook her head and bit her tongue. A convoy of trucks was rolling up the street. "What are we going to do with the civilians?" she suddenly asked. A few privates had hopped down from the truck beds and were setting up gangplanks up to the bench seats in back. "What are they doing?"

"They're going to truck them to a town a few miles from here. It's a little less damaged, further from the lines. This town has enough room to be a good temporary camp for us; they'll be safer farther away from this route."

Katniss toed the rubble of a broken doorway. She looked across the street at the pock-marked pavement. Stray bullets had shattered windows and carved lines into stone as they grazed the walls. She listened to the shouts of confused citizens as they were herded on the trucks to be shipped away from the front lines. Her eyes found the withered grandmother she'd found in the basement. The woman gently pushed the small boy ahead of her. He stumbled over ill-fitting buckled shoes. He appeared in a fog as he climbed the gangplank to the truck bed.

Her eyes were locked on the little boy's cherubic face as they climbed onto the benches in the back of the cargo truck. She could see now his hair was sprouting into a downy halo. Katniss wondered if his captors had cut it as punishment; if the boy had fought for his family like Peeta had fought for his father. He could have so easily have shared Peeta's fate. He looked so much like him.

The little boy turned and looked at her dead on as the truck rumbled to life. Katniss felt the blood freeze in her veins.

Her feet took off and she screamed. "Stop the truck! Stop it!"

The truck began to accelerate and a force drove her on. "Someone stop that truck!"

The driver could not hear her over the engine.

She was falling behind.

She saw the chunk of hardened mortar lying on the ground. She swept down and grabbed it, nearly tumbling over. She took aim as she ran. She launched it in a perfect arc.

It hit the top of the cabin with a resounding clang. The driver slammed on the brakes. He climbed out to see the shouting woman in a poorly fitting soldier's uniform running after the truck.

"Everdeen, what the hell?" Odair yelled from behind.

"Katniss!" Gale's voice was in the distance.

She ignored them. She reached the tailgate and yanked it open, hauling herself up into the cabin. She fell forward over the passengers' feet as she struggled forward to the child.

She grabbed the tiny shoulders. She stared at the confused and frightened green eyes. The long, dark lashes.

"Prim? Are you Primrose Mellark?" Her eyes flew over the face. The child blinked and stared. "Prim," she breathed. She gently reached forward and pulled the limp girl to her feet. Prim made no sound. "Prim? Can you hear me?" She looked sharply at the older woman seated nearby. "This girl! What happened to her? What did they do?"

The woman shrugged helplessly. "She is with them when they come through! The commander, he is wounded so he leaves her. She is sitting on our doorstep so we take her in. We thought it was a boy. They cut her hair..."

"Primrose," Katniss begged. "Please tell me your name. Your name."

"Katniss?" Peeta had reached the tailgate. "Katniss-" He stopped.

Primrose saw him at the same time. She was gasping and choking as she yanked away from Katniss to stagger to him.

"Prim! Prim!" He held out his arms and she fell from the truck into his embrace. She was screaming as she cried into his jacket. "Ich hab' dich, Prim. Ich bin bei dir." He whispered into her ear. She wrapped her body around his and refused to let go.

Katniss tripped back over the legs and toes of the other prisoner laborers. She ignored their curses over bruised toes as she climbed down to join Peeta. He rocked his sister back and forth while she continued to scream, her cries muffled against his coat.

Katniss winced at the painful noise. "Let's get her to the medics," she murmured.

Peeta nodded, blinking away joyful tears. "Danke, Katniss. Thank you."

The truck rumbled again and Prim whimpered into his collar. He hoisted her higher on his waist and carried her back to the infirmary set up in the abandoned dance hall. Peeta started sing-songing a rhyme she didn't understand, but it quieted the girl's sobs. She was limp as a rag doll when they finally stepped into the busy hall across the town.

Katniss found Aurelius in a bathroom lounge sewing a row of neat stitches where a bullet had grazed a young soldier's collarbone. The young man winced and keened.

"Believe me, you were lucky," Katniss gritted at the complaining soldier. She looked at Aurelius. "I found her."

"What?" he asked, focused on the stitches.

"Prim. Peeta's sister. She's here."

Aurelius's hands stilled and he turned to stare. His smile broke as hers did. "Holy shit."

"Yes," she beamed. "She's not in good shape, it looks like shell shock. But I need you to make sure nothing else is wrong."

"Of course. I'll be done here in a second."

Katniss thanked him and returned to the bench outside the lounge where she'd left Peeta and his little sister.

Prim straddled on his lap with her face on his chest, motionless. Katniss thought she had cried herself to sleep but when she sat next to him she could see the girl staring into the space beyond. She squirmed.

"Did she see what happened to your family?" Katniss whispered to Peeta. "Does she know?"

Peeta nodded. "I think so." He kissed Prim's hair and gave her a gentle squeeze. She squirmed again and whined.

Katniss nodded uselessly. "It shouldn't be too long. Aurelius was just finishing- What is that? Oh no!"

Peeta stood up as he felt Prim wet his lap. He tried to set her down, but she started to scream as soon as he loosened his grip. Katniss jumped up. The child's searing keening made it hard to think.

"I'll get a towel." Katniss tore down the hall until she spotted the kitchen. As she suspected, it now housed stacks of surgical linens. She swiped a stack of towels piled on a buffet table in the corner. She ran back to the hallway and handed one to Peeta.

"She needs new clothes," he said in frustration, trying to clean Prim's legs while she clung to his waist and stamped her feet. "Prim, you have to let go."

She released an angry little scream and slammed her forehead into his hip.

"Come on," Katniss offered. "Let's take her to the service bathroom by the kitchen." She dropped a towel over the spot where Prim's legs were dripping onto the floor and Peeta picked Prim back up to carry her to the bathroom labeled Mitarbeiter Badezimmer.

Katniss pushed open the door. "Is there anyone in here?" Her own voice echoed back. She held the door for Peeta and he carried Prim to the sink. He set her on the counter. He turned to Katniss.

"Could you find her something to wear?"

She returned from the kitchen with a tablecloth to find Peeta struggling to remove Prim's boy's shirt when she refused to let his arm go.

"Katniss, could you help me?"

"Will she let me?"

Peeta looked at Prim.

"Come here," he gestured to Katniss. She stepped over in front of the child.

"Prim? Prim, würdest du mich bitte anschauen?" Her eyes refused to focus on his face, rather darting back and forth all over the room. "Prim, das ist Katniss." He took Prim's wrist and held her free hand out to Katniss. "Kannst du bitte Katniss' Hand halten? Take her hand, Prim."

Katniss stretched out her fingers and took the tiny hand. It was clammy and sticky. She could feel Prim pulling away. Peeta motioned for her to step closer and he transferred Prim's fingers to Katniss's wrist. Prim started to flail and screech.

"Prim!" He wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Katniss wird dir helfen. Du bist hier sicher." Prim glared at the buttons on Katniss's uniform.

He began to work on the shirt, pulling it off her back to reveal an undershirt reeking of perspiration. Katniss was afraid of what they would find when they peeled off the rest. Peeta unbuckled her shoes and unzipped her pants.

Prim wriggled in discomfort at the wet clothes. Peeta started to pull down the dirty trousers, so Katniss lifted her off the counter. Prim kicked her hard in the stomach. Katniss gasped and set her back down to grab her abdomen in pain.

"Prim!" warned Peeta. "Sie versucht mir zu helfen!" Prim whined and struggled. "Let her help you, Prim." Katniss gritted her teeth and lifted the child back up warily, her arms stretched to their full length.

Peeta pulled her pants and socks off. Her underwear was soaked. He pulled it carefully down and Katniss' shoulders sank in relief. In the mirror she was unbruised. Katniss set Prim down with her backside in a sink basin and turned on warm water.

Peeta poured handfuls water over the little girl in the sink, scrubbing her dirty hands and face with a towel. Katniss held Prim's hands when she wouldn't let the nurse help Peeta bathe her. Katniss folded the tablecloth over three times and wrapped her in it as she lifted her from the sink. Prim tried to bite her. Peeta scolded her sharply again. The child stuck her fingers in her mouth and grumbled at Katniss. She reached to her brother over Katniss's shoulder.

"I have to replace my pants," Peeta mumbled.

"Oh. We'll wait outside," Katniss said. Two steps away from him, Prim started to kick her and scream.

Katniss grimaced. "Or we'll just turn around."

She rocked Prim carefully and clumsily hummed the only nursery rhyme her mother had ever sang to her. Her fingers found the soft down of Prim's blunt hair. The girl stopped growling. Her mouth smacked against her fingers.

"Finished," Peeta said quickly. Katniss smiled at the towel around his waist.

"We'll need to find you new pants," she said. "You can't walk around like that."

"I want her to visit with Dr. Aurelius first."

Prim stretched out her arms and Peeta took her back. Katniss soaped and rinsed their clothes in the sink and carried the damp clothes in a bundle as they returned to the infirmary. Aurelius opened his mouth at the tablecloth and towel, but spotted Katniss shaking her head and decided better of it.

Peeta set Prim down on the buffet table that had become a surgeon's station and introduced her. Aurelius smiled at her and explained in broken German he was a doctor. She stared as he looked at her eyes and nose. When he tried to look at her throat she bit him. Peeta had to hold her while she kicked and screamed as he tried to check her abdomen. Shaking his head, he advised them, "Well there's nothing wrong with her lungs."

"I am sorry, Dr. Aurelius," Peeta said. "She is very frightened. She is a very sweet child."

"No, it's fine," Aurelius called over the angry shrieks. "She looks all right, but I can't examine her like this. Let's try when she's calmed down." He jumped back from a flailing limb. Peeta pulled Prim back up into a sitting position and she stilled.

"How long will you be here?" Katniss asked.

"A week as of right now," he said. "Bring her back to me tomorrow, we'll see then."

"Thank you," Katniss asked. "I don't suppose you could tell us where to find new clothes?"

"I don't know about children's clothes," he nodded at the little girl in Peeta's arms, "but the supply tent set up inside the parish house."

Katniss retrieved a new uniform for herself from surplus and fought with the attendant when Peeta was refused officer's pants. She stomped over to the parish hall and was considering how to steal them when she spotted the charity collection box full of worn farmers' clothing for the poor.

They slipped around the back of the church to pull a tattered dress over Prim's head and for Peeta to exchange a towel for trousers. When he was dressed, Prim darted from Katniss's grasp and clung to her brother. "Thank you for finding her a dress." He smiled. "She wore our old clothes at home. She is not familiar with dresses."

Katniss smiled. "I always wanted to wear pants at home too. I wanted to be just like my father."

Peeta took Prim's hand and they sought a place to let her sleep.

Katniss glanced up and down the village around them. She saw a pack of German soldiers being herded towards a transport truck.

"Peeta, come with me." She glanced over. "Keep your head down," she whispered. He followed her with small steps. Prim's short legs jogged along as she held his wrist and arm with both hands.

"Where will we stay?" he asked quietly.

"We're going to take one of these houses," Katniss muttered.

"Is that permitted?"

"It is now."

She led them out of the town center to the smaller homes near the ancient church. She paused to look at the house with the least damage to its structure.

She selected the painted stone cottage in front of the pasture where she'd seen the sheep grazing earlier. She motioned for Peeta to follow. She swallowed hard. Sheep's blood still littered the field.

"Do you think anyone is here?" he asked quietly, pressing a palm over Prim's eyes.

"Probably not," she murmured. "We'll go quietly until we're sure."

Peeta pressed a finger to his lips and gestured for Prim to be silent. Katniss wondered why; she hadn't made a sound unless she was pulled away from her brother. The old lock on the back of the kitchen broke easily and Katniss pushed the door very carefully open. It creaked but drew no attention.

She poked her head inside. All was silent.

"Okay," she motioned for Peeta to follow. She tiptoed through the kitchen. The living room was intact and empty. She could hear the grandfather clock pounding loudly in the parlor. She gestured for her followers to wait. She pulled her firearm at the foot of the stairs. She heard Prim whimper and she saw the little girl staring at the gun in terror. Peeta turned her eyes away from Katniss and nodded for her to continue up the stairs. Katniss moved as silently as she could. She reached the landing. All the doors stood open. She crouched low and moved along the wall. The first bedroom was empty. The second was full of books and paintings but no hidden townspeople. The bathroom was clean and silent.

"Peeta! It's all right!" she called over the banister. She hid her gun inside her pocket as Prim's wide eyes came into view, her hand clutching Peeta's tightly. "There's a bed through there," she said, pointing to the end of the hall.

"Danke," Peeta sighed. He looked as tired as his sister now. Katniss felt the fatigue of the day wearing her down as well. She followed him into the bedroom and pulled the sheets down. He lifted Prim into the bed and unbuckled her shoes. She did not release his hand.

"Prim, leg' dich hin. Du musst dich ausruhen." She did not move.

"What's wrong?" Katniss whispered.

Peeta looked over his shoulder. "She will not sleep."

"She's afraid you'll leave," Katniss smiled sadly. "Lie down with her."

"I should find food for her."

"I'll find food. You lie down with her," Katniss insisted.

He sat down beside Prim, toeing off his shoes. She wriggled across the bed to lay with her back against the wall, hanging on to his pants with her small fist. He lay carefully to not twist her arm. She rolled to his side and buried her face in his ribs. Katniss watched her with pity. Peeta closed his eyes. She watched them until she felt she was intruding.

Katniss closed the door as silently and stepped carefully to the stairs. The country kitchen was narrow but had not been completely emptied. She found a jar of sheep's milk in the still-cold icebox and set it aside. She picked a few moldy pieces from a stale loaf of bread and tucked it inside the icebox to eat later. The cabinets yielded a small amount of rice and a bag of potatoes sprouting green shoots. It would have to do for them until rations were ready.

She felt her shoulders ache and her eyelids grow heavy thinking of Peeta and Prim sleeping upstairs. She moved to the parlor to look for a sofa when she heard soldiers walking by outside. She ducked below the window as they passed. She peered through the sheer curtain and realized she couldn't sleep on the ground floor.

Grabbing two cushions off the small sofa, Katniss moved to the stairs.

She snuck up the creaking steps to the second bedroom. She found a clearing among the books and threw the pillows onto the floor.

She was asleep two minutes after she lay down.


	10. Chapter 10

"Mama!"

Katniss's eyelids flew open at the panicked shout.

"Prim! Bist du krank?"

She sat up and got her bearings. Early morning was just cutting a thin white line at the horizon into the inky blue outside the curtained windows. Her stiff joints informed her she'd slept through the evening and night on the thin carpet. She sat up as she heard the bedroom door open and two sets of feet hurry to the bathroom. She crawled to her feet and stumbled to the open door.

Peeta was setting Prim into the tub in her dress. Her eyes were lost and sad. A dark wet spot ran from her groin to her toes.

"Again?" Katniss asked.

Peeta spun around. "Yes," he sighed. "She was dreaming." He turned on the faucet. Prim stuck her hand out to catch the water.

Katniss remembered the kick she got in the stomach when she last helped Peeta. "I'll take care of the sheets," she offered.

She stripped the bed and noted the leak hadn't gone too deeply into the mattress. The stain was darker than she'd hoped. She walked back to the bathroom to find a hand towel.

Prim's dress was soaking the sink and Peeta was pouring a cup of water over her. She shook the water from her chopped hair. She growled when Katniss returned.

"She needs to drink some water," Katniss said. "Her urine is dark; she's dehydrated."

He looked at the girl. "Möchtest du ein Glas Wasser, Prim, Prim?"

She nodded. She glanced at Katniss.

"I found some food. You both should eat."

She watched Prim for a moment while Peeta tried to get her out of the tub before she turned away. She took the white hand towel from the rack and soaped it heavily to press into the mattress.

She gathered the linens in the bedroom and carried them down to the first floor. She found the wash basin in the kitchen and realized she'd have to hang the sheets on the line outside. She hoped it did not attract visitors.

She was wringing out the sheets over the sink when Peeta carried Prim in, wrapped in a towel. His shirt was wet where her head lolled against his shoulder.

"There's a bottle of milk in the icebox for her," she told him.

"Prim," he told her, "Katniss hat Milch – milk – für dich gefuden. Was sollst du ihr jetzt sagen? What do you say?" Prim eyed Katniss warily then looked away. Peeta tried again. "Prim, what do you say to Katniss?"

"I don't think she likes me much," Katniss said.

Peeta sighed. "I am sorry. She is a very sweet girl."

"I'm sure she is," Katniss smiled, "when she's not so hungry. Give her some breakfast; I'll hang these outside."

When she came back to the kitchen, Peeta was attempting to give his sister a small glass of milk. He caught the bottle sitting beyond the glass as Prim lunged for it.

Prim pushed the small glass away angrily and reached for the bottle again. Katniss caught it when it threatened to fall. Prim caught Katniss's fingers and dragged the bottle to her mouth across the table top. She didn't release her hand as she tipped it to her mouth.

"I guess she wanted the whole bottle," Katniss smiled.

Peeta smiled. "Prim, give Katniss her fingers back please."

Prim changed the hand holding the bottle without acknowledging Katniss. Katniss lit the stove and pulled the bread from the icebox.

"It's pretty stale, but if we heat the bread it should taste all right."

"Katniss, anything is good," Peeta told her. "I feel like we have not eaten in years."

She smiled. "Then slice up these potatoes." She dropped the basket of sprouting potatoes on the table.

"Yes, ma'am," he grinned. "I will use the toilet and come back down."

He stood and Prim jumped up from the table. She wrapped her arms around his leg.

"Prim, I am going to the bathroom. You cannot come with me." She squeezed her eyes shut and didn't let him go. He looked to Katniss. "She cannot come with me," he pleaded.

"Prim?" Katniss knelt down to her. "Peeta will be right back." Prim let one green eye open to glare at Katniss.

"Here," Peeta said. He reached down and removed Prim's hands from his leg and she began to whimper. He quickly moved her hands to Katniss's shoulders. "Will you hold her for me?"

Katniss clung on to Prim while she struggled to follow Peeta up the stairs. "Prim! It's all right, it's just the bathroom. He'll be right back!" Prim shrieked. Katniss's head throbbed with the noise. She sat down on the floor to collect Prim more fully into her arms and held the child to her.

"Shhh, please," she moaned. "You don't have to be scared anymore."

The keening was drilling a hold in her brain. Prim wriggled and tried to kick her, but Katniss held her tight. Prim stopped struggling and began to cry.

"It's all right. He's not gone. He's upstairs." Prim looked up at Katniss. "He came to find you," she told her. "He came all the way here just for you. He'd never leave you, Prim."

Prim was quiet. Katniss looked at the bright red nose and pink-rimmed eyes. She had her brother's eyes. Katniss gazed at her. She tucked her chin and kissed Prim's forehead gently. Prim lowered her face and let her head rest against Katniss's shoulder. Katniss waited and wondered if she was about to wet her lap in revenge. But she wasn't wriggling in discomfort. She was breathing deeply, but not enough to be asleep. She seemed to relax.

Peeta returned. "She is quiet." Katniss thought he sounded hopeful.

"I think she wears herself out," Katniss offered. Prim stretched her arm out to Peeta. He came to her and tried to take her from Katniss, but Prim kept one fist gripping Katniss's sleeve.

"Prim, Katniss needs her shirt," he smiled. Prim refused to let her go.

Katniss slipped her thumb between the fabric and the clenched hand and held Prim's hand in hers. "I'm right here," she told her. "I'm not going anywhere."

Prim watched her a long moment before she released her thumb.

* * *

The morning was warmer than anticipated. Prim clung to Peeta as they walked down the ruined streets to the infirmary dance hall. She growled at the soldiers that passed them.

Aurelius was wincing at the bitter coffee in his cup when they came back. He raised an eyebrow at their borrowed and ragged clothes from the chapel donation bin. Prim glowered as he greeted them.

"She's a real peach," he sighed.

"She's been doing better," Katniss defended her. "She's just anxious," she added.

Aurelius pulled out a stethoscope and rubbed it warm on his hand. "Hmmm," was all he offered her.

Prim squirmed and whined but didn't kick as he listened to her lungs and prodded her neck and ears. "She looks all right. A little lean, but," he sighed. "aren't we all?"

He coughed uncomfortably and looked at Katniss sideways. "Did you check…?"

Katniss nodded. "We gave her a bath. Two, actually. She looks all right," she murmured. Peeta realized what they were saying and he stumbled.

"Peeta?" she asked. Prim reached for him.

He was white. "I need water," he croaked. "I…I need water."

"Peeta, she's all right." Katniss touched his arm gently. "She's fine."

"I just…I cannot," he staggered to the hallway. "Water."

Prim began to panic and Katniss quickly moved to the buffet table now serving as a surgical bed. She enveloped Prim in her arms to shush her.

"She's lucky," Aurelius said, tossing the stethoscope aside. "Little kid on her own." He watched Prim press her ear to Katniss's heart as she sat up on examining table and waited for her brother.

"I told him she was waiting for him to find her," Katniss smiled. "I think she was."

"Is she mute?"

"Sorry?" Katniss was startled.

"She talk?"

She blinked. "I think…yes?"

"Do you know your name?" he asked the little girl.

"She's listening and responding to Peeta," Katniss told him. "She's just not speaking."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Probably to be expected. What she saw at her age; I'm sure she doesn't have words for it."

Katniss looked down at the fuzzy little head. She imagined the large eyes watching her mother dragged from their bedroom; her brothers shouting in the next room. Hearing the shots in their garden. The march north, alone. Whether it was mercy or arrogance that saved her short life, she would never know. She shuddered and gripped Prim tighter. Prim made a noise more like relief than a whine.

"Well, it's communication anyway," Aurelius thought aloud. "Take her someplace quiet. You have a bunk somewhere?"

"We took a house," Katniss confessed. "The whitewashed cottage by the chapel. They weren't going to let her stay with Peeta."

Aurelius raised an eyebrow. "You're there too?"

Katniss felt her neck grow hot. "There are two bedrooms," she stammered.

Peeta returned and Aurelius glanced between the two of them. Prim reached out an arm and Peeta crossed to stand by her so she could hold onto him.

"Better take her back to that house," Aurelius finally said. "I don't need her kicking my patients."

Peeta thanked him and apologized again, lifting Prim into his arms. She kept her eyes on Katniss as they walked back to the cottage. Katniss spied Gale watching their procession from the door to the makeshift mess hall. She looked away from his curiosity. The other refugees had been shipped southeast yesterday as she had concealed them in the cottage.

Prim took turns dogging Peeta and Katniss all afternoon. As Katniss restocked her medical pack from the house's meager supply, Prim kept three fingers laced through her belt loops. When Peeta was in the cellar searching for canned goods, Prim was standing on his foot. She pushed open closed doors angrily when they moved out of her sight and shrieked if either was away from her too long. Katniss's ears rang and her head ached by the time the dusk began to fall.

"Prim, please," Katniss sighed that evening. She tried to move back and forth around the kitchen, but with the child holding both of her legs she was afraid she was going to step on her. "Peeta?" she called to the living room.

He appeared and Prim ran to his legs. "Thank you," Katniss sighed. "That's all I needed."

"Prim," he chided. He looked to Katniss. "Is there any help I can do?"

"Just keep her from underfoot," Katniss said over her shoulder. "I'm afraid I'm going to trip and fall on her."

He sighed and led her out of the kitchen. Katniss could hear her whining even as he began to speak softly to her from the sofa.

Katniss lit the pilot to warm the oven. Her stomach rumbled at the meager amount the three had to share. Two cans of beets and one of corn were all the basement held, and they'd eaten them for lunch. Only the rice and a few potatoes were left. She reserved the half-jar of milk for Prim. It would be a hungry night, but she hadn't yet figured out how to sneak away the newly-arrived rations she would need for three people. She checked the remaining bread; it seemed more dismal and stale but she would heat it anyway. Peeta was at least four inches taller than her and had been eating less than her for a long time.

She went into the living room to ask if she should boil the rice or save it in case they needed it later. She stopped at the sight of Peeta dozing with Prim resting on his chest. She smiled at the memory of her father's flannel shirts pressed against her cheek in winter. She remember the sound of his breathing as they napped in their summer hammock when she was small enough to fit alongside.

Prim blinked and held an arm out to Katniss sleepily. "Shh," Katniss gestured as she crossed to lift her off Peeta. "Let your brother rest." Peeta stirred and sighed, then settled.

Prim followed her back to the kitchen and watched her pull a small handful of rice from the jar to cook. Her stomach had swayed her opinion. Dropping the rice into the water she sat down at the table to wait. Prim climbed clumsily into her lap.

They sat quietly and listened to the water on the stove. Katniss rested her chin on top of Prim's head and smiled as the choppy hair poked her chin. She felt a tug on her blouse and saw Prim was chewing on the wooden button of her borrowed shirt.

She jumped and pulled back. "Prim, don't do that," she murmured, sweeping it from her mouth. "You might choke." But she was doing it again as soon as Katniss's free hand returned to her back. "Prim, stop," she sighed. The button clicked against her baby teeth. She stared at the child. She protested when Katniss moved to put the rice in the water, but she wasn't nearly as loud as she'd been all day. Katniss hoped she'd fall asleep early that night.

Peeta's tired eyes were at the door. "Thank you for watching Prim. I am sorry, I did not mean to sleep so long."

"It's all right," she smiled. "I was more hungry than tired."

He smiled. "Prim, would you like a potato?" He asked the girl wrapped around Katniss's knee. She shook her head. "More milk?" She nodded.

He set her at the table, but she climbed down, taking the bottle with her and clung to his legs while he sliced a the potatoes' shoots at the sink. Katniss slipped the bread into the warm oven and set a pot of water to boil on the stove. She and Peeta dropped the potatoes into the pan and he showed her how he could toss and flip them with a flourish. Katniss pulled Prim into her lap while he transferred them into a small bowl.

He turned around to find Prim was chewing Katniss's button again. Katniss shrugged helplessly. When he tried to take her, she squirmed away and buried her face against Katniss's damp shirt.

"I suppose she does like you," he frowned. "Or at least your buttons. She chews them?"

Katniss nodded. "I hope she doesn't chew it off. I only have one spare uniform now."

Peeta shook his head. "I do not even remember the feel of my uniform. I am glad to never wear it again. You must be tired of pants and ready for dresses again."

Katniss shook her head. "I never liked the dresses my mother bought for me. My father bought me a dress for graduation from the nursing program. I wore it for him, but," she confessed, "I never cared for it much."

"You are a tom?" he asked.

"Tomboy?" she grinned. "I suppose a bit. It's more than I think pants are more practical."

"Your mother likes this?" he asked.

Katniss paused. "Um. My mother and I are not close."

Peeta frowned. Prim sighed and chewed the button. "I am sorry."

"No, it's…it's my fault. I was always my father's daughter," Katniss said quietly. "I didn't…I didn't give her a chance."

"I am sure you loved her very much. You are a very good woman, Katniss."

Katniss smiled down at Prim in her lap. The small fingers balled little sections of her shirt into a fist and released. "I'm no mother, though, am I?" she whispered.

Prim chewed the button off the shirt while they were eating the potatoes. She spit it out of her mouth in surprise. It clattered across the floor.

Katniss moaned. "Oh, Prim."

Prim slid off of her lap and moved to sit with Peeta. He offered her a bit of potato. She accepted the fork while her eyes searched for the button on the floor. She made another face and refused more potato.

"They're not very fresh," Katniss said to her. "But they're still good. I wish I had found some salt, though. Or pepper."

"They're real food," Peeta breathed. "I am very tired of crackers."

"If I see a saltine ever again it will be too soon!" Katniss laughed. "Maybe Prim will like them."

"I do not know if she has had them," Peeta said, rubbing Prim's short hair. "I do not know what she was eating when she was living with that family."

"She needs to eat more. There's the rice, do you think she'd eat that?"

He shrugged. "Reis, Prim?"

"Nein." She rested her chin on the table and kicked her legs.

He nearly fell off the chair when she spoke. "Prim!" She did not speak again, but he was beaming all the same. He and Katniss washed the few dishes in the sink as Prim took turns pulling on their pant legs as she looked for the button.

"Maybe it's under the refrigerator?" Katniss asked her. "It could have bounced."

"She should not eat buttons if she will not eat rice," Peeta frowned. Katniss laughed.

The knock at the door set Prim off. She tried to pull them both out of the kitchen by their pants, but she fell down in her panic and lost her grip on Peeta's leg. It was enough to frighten a scream out of her like something Katniss had never heard.

"Peeta, take her upstairs!" Katniss cried, covering her ears.

Peeta picked her. Prim reached for Katniss and wailed in terror. The noise continued up the stairs and to the bedroom and through the closed door.

Katniss took a deep breath and opened the door.

"What the hell is that?" asked the staff sergeant at the shrieks from upstairs.

"My, um, patient," Katniss answered. She could see Gale trying to signal her to stay quiet behind the sergeant.

"What patient?"

"Prisoner laborers that were left behind. What do you need?" Katniss deflected, stepping outside to shut the door. "She's very upset and shouldn't be disturbed."

The sergeant eyed her. Gale clenched his jaw. "Getting my headcount in. Anyone else staying here?"

Her throat felt stuffed with cotton. "Yes."

The sergeant waited.

"My patient's brother." Katniss swallow. "They're both minors."

The staff sergeant checked his clipboard. "What nationality?"

"Sorry?"

"Your prisoner laborers. What nationality?"

Katniss took a slow breath. "Polish." She saw Gale's mouth twitch a quick frown.

"Okay. There's a supply transport leaving on Thursday, heading south. They can go with them. When's your unit going out?"

Katniss glanced at Gale. "Wednesday," he answered for her. "Wednesday morning."

"Wednesday," she repeated.

"Okay," the staff sergeant said, noting it down. "You can tell them to be ready Thursday? They speak English?"

"Yes," Katniss said. "Better than most."

He left without another word. Gale stared at Katniss for a moment before he followed the staff sergeant around the corner of the house.

Katniss stepped back inside and locked the door. She leaned against it heavily.

She climbed the stairs to the bedroom. She could hear muffled tears from behind the closed door. She gently turned the knob.

"Peeta? Is she all right?"

Prim tumbled off the bed and ran to Katniss. She grabbed her pants and frantically tried to get back to where Peeta was sitting on the mattress. Katniss lifted her back to sit next to her brother and was obliged to sit as Prim would not release her hand.

"She is back, Prim," Peeta said softly, wiping her small face. "Katniss is all right."

"Sie nehmen dich. Sie nehmen Katniss."

"No," he whispered. "They will not take me or Katniss. We are here with you."

Katniss watched him. He looked at her. He knew it wasn't necessarily true either.


	11. Chapter 11

_If anyone can help correct my German, please feel free to PM me! _

It was night when she retreated outside to collect the sheets and left Prim whimpering at the kitchen door. She held Peeta's hand and pressed her face to the window overlooking the yard. Katniss sighed and stretched. The quiet night was welcome. She pulled the down the sheets and they smelled like the sun. She was sorry to sleep on the floor again as she piled them over her shoulders.

Prim let Katniss take her into the bathroom to dress her for bed. Her donated dress was still damp on the curtain rod, so Katniss helped her into a man's undershirt to sleep. She rifled through the bureau drawers until she found other clothes for Peeta. There was one woman's nightdress left behind. It was patched, but made with soft spun wool. It was a relief to peel off her heavy clothes and pull off the soft gown. Katniss fastened the three wooden buttons from her sternum to her collar and reveled being enveloped. She sighed. Prim mimicked her with a puff of an exhalation.

"Are you still tired?" Katniss asked her. "Müde?"

Prim nodded.

"We'll go to bed as soon as I wash these clothes, okay?"

Prim nodded again and watched Katniss ring out her peasant shirt to hang by her uniform on the rod across the tub. Katniss saw the little girl begin to chew her lip at the second button that was still left.

Peeta came upstairs from locking the doors and checking the windows. "I think we are hidden. I have turned all the lights down." He spotted them in pajamas. "Prim, you have grown. That shirt nearly fits you."

She shook her head at his teasing and reached for his hand. "I must dress. Will you go with Katniss? Gehen Sie mit Katniss?"

Prim agreed and Katniss took her to the bedroom again. "Will you help me put the sheets on the bed, Prim?" Katniss struggled to think of the German words. "Sheets, sheets," she muttered to herself. Prim hung on to her nightdress while she moved around the room, unfolding the bedsheets from the line.

"Here we are," she said. "Sheets."

Prim looked at her. "Sheets."

"What is this called in German?" Katniss asked her. "Sheets."

"Bettwäsche?"

"Bettwäsche," Katniss fumbled. "Bedsheets, bettwäsche. Thank you. Danke."

Prim helped Katniss as best she could stretch the clean sheets over the bed. Katniss lifted her up onto the bed and sat beside her as they waited for Peeta. Prim stuck her thumb in her mouth and seized a fistful of Katniss's dress.

"I did that," Katniss told her. "It made my teeth stick out." She pointed to her crooked front teeth. "I can whistle through them, but my dentist wants to give me braces." She could see she'd lost Prim, but the girl was still listening intently. "You should try to stop when your permanent teeth come in. Braces hurt like the dickens."

Prim looked to the door as Peeta appeared in the ill-fitting found pajamas. "Thank you, Katniss. These are very much better. Prim, did you thank Katniss for your shirt?"

"Danke," Prim muffled around her thumb.

Katniss stood up and Prim pulled herself down by the nightdress to follow. Katniss chuckled, "No, no. You need to go to bed, little one." Peeta sat down on the bed and Katniss lifted Prim to bounce on the mattress. She smiled as she crawled over to her brother and lay down.

Katniss was at the door when Prim started to whine.

"What's wrong?"

Peeta sat up. Prim had one hand on his wrist and another reaching for Katniss.

"I'm not going anywhere," Katniss said, crossing back to her. "I'm just down the hall." Prim caught her wrist and dug in her fingernails painfully. "Ow! I'm not leaving you, Prim. Ow!"

"Prim, let Katniss sleep," Peeta tried to warn her, working on the vice grip keeping Katniss captive. He pried the small fingers loose and Prim growled.

Katniss covered her ears in pain. "Okay, okay," she knelt by the bed. "I'll stay right here." She patted the carpet.

"Shall you sleep with her?" Peeta asked, trying to climb out of the bed with Prim still holding his arm. "I will take the floor."

Katniss looked at Prim hanging on him like a creeping vine. The panicked little keening noise she was making was drilling a hole through Katniss's skull. She gritted her teeth against the pain in her head. "There's enough room, we'll just both sleep with her."

Peeta hesitated. Katniss saw their night in his backyard weighing on his mind.

"If that's all right," Katniss said quickly. "I mean…I didn't mean…"

"No," he said quickly. "I just-"

"So she'll sleep," Katniss said.

Peeta met her eyes reluctantly. "Yes."

Katniss shut off the small bedside lamp as he took the spot by the wall and Prim moved close to him to make room for Katniss on her other side. Her fist found Katniss's wrist again and held her demandingly.

The dark quiet settled into the room.

She wanted to sleep. But now she could only think of Peeta's embarrassment. She thought of the night again. She'd never regretted it. She'd never regretted any of those moments. But now it was different. He hadn't disappeared into her past like the rest of them. He was still there. He was beside her. And bothered her that he did seem to regret it.

Katniss listened to the soft, deep breathing beside her until it lulled her to sleep.

She woke to the pressure on her chest. Her right arm was asleep as she lay on her side.

Prim chewing the button of her nightgown over her heart.

She was curled up against Katniss, her fuzzy head bobbing as she tried to eat the button. Katniss thought of the feral kittens in the neighbor's barn when she'd watch them nurse on their annoyed mother.

"Prim," she whispered, trying to sweep the button from her mouth. "Are you awake?"

Prim grumbled and pushed Katniss's hand away. She attacked the button again.

"Prim, you're going to choke," Katniss whispered, slipping her fingers to the button and pushing Prim away gently. Prim began to whine and wriggle. "You're going to pull the button off and choke," Katniss repeated. She rolled to her back, yanking the row of buttons away from Prim's mouth.

Peeta stirred. "Katniss?" he yawned. Katniss yelped as Prim kneeled on her right hand to go after the button. "Prim?" Peeta sat up. Katniss could see him searching blindly in the dark.

"She's trying to eat the buttons again," Katniss told him and Prim landed on her sternum. "She'll strangle if she swallows it," she coughed.

Peeta's hands found Prim and pulled her face gently away from Katniss.

Katniss felt the warmth spread over her hip and stomach immediately. "Peeta!"

Peeta heard it. "Prim," he sighed in despair.

Prim started to cry.

Katniss took Prim to the bathtub while Peeta changed the sheets and tried to scrub the mattress. Katniss pulled the dripping shirt from Prim's back and tossed it under the faucet. Prim watched her pull off the wool nightgown and run it under the spigot.

"Oh Prim," Katniss sighed as the green eyes watered and she sniffled. "It's all right. I know you're just scared." Katniss looked down and tried to laugh gently. "You've wet my underpants, too."

She found a towel to wear while she rinsed her underclothes in the sink. Prim stopped crying and began to splash in the tub. Peeta knocked on the bathroom door. He glanced at the towel Katniss wore when she opened it to him.

"Did she ruin your nightgown?" he asked.

"Not ruined, just…dampened," Katniss quipped.

His shoulders sagged. "Is she sick?" he whispered.

Katniss looked back to the splashing. Prim was pressed against the lip of the tub, leaning out to where they stood. She saw them watching her and stretched out a hand.

"I think she doesn't want you out of her sight," Katniss thought out loud. "I think she won't leave you long enough to go to the bathroom." She looked at him. "She's afraid you'll be gone again."

Peeta squeezed his eyes shut."I should have run away sooner," he moaned, rubbing his face. "If I had gotten back to her sooner. My brothers." He had to stop and turn away. "Peeta," Katniss whispered. "She's here, she's all right. You found her."

He nodded but did not turn to face her.

Katniss heard the splashing as Prim tried to climb out of the tub and she rushed a towel to her before she flooded the bathroom. "We're going to have to find more towels," she smiled at Prim as she rubbed her back and arms dry. "You're making it rain inside."

"What do I do?" Katniss looked at Peeta's exclamation. He was watching her in misery, a lost boy underneath his soldier's face.

"We'll just take her to bathroom often, Peeta," Katniss soothed. "She'll learn what do to again. It's all right." She looked at Prim watching him. "Come take her for me, I need to wash up."

Peeta took Prim into the bedroom. It wounded Katniss to see her pull and stretch to keep Katniss in her sight. Katniss closed the door as Peeta started humming to Prim.

She rung out their nightclothes and hung them with the day clothes that still clung to the rod. She looked in the mirror as she ran a washcloth over her hip and thigh. There was a red scrape over her heart. The thread from the button had scratched her when Prim bit down on the button. Katniss touched it gently with her fingers. She closed her eyes and felt the child against her. She thought of her mother. She opened her eyes to look at herself in the mirror. She shut off the water and hurried back to the bedroom.

They laid out lightweight spring blankets when they couldn't find more sheets. Katniss pulled a torn undershirt from the drawer and peered around. "I don't think there are any more clothes, Prim. You'll have to wear this."

"What will you wear?"

Katniss looked up at Peeta then down to her towel. "Oh."

"You wear the shirt," he blushed. "She can wear her towel."

"All right." Katniss felt oddly shy as she pulled the shirt over her own towel. It hung to her mid-thigh. The child did not seem to care what was happening either way. She crawled onto the blankets and lay down in the middle of the mattress, forcing Peeta to crawl over her to the wall. Katniss smiled and lay back down.

Peeta rolled in close and kissed Prim's ear. "Schlafen Sie gut," he whispered. "Dream well."

Katniss closed her eyes and felt the fatigue rush back like a tidal wave. She was nearly asleep when she felt Prim's forehead against her arm.

* * *

Her uniform was not quite dry when she pulled them on the next morning. She grimaced as she buttoned the damp fly and zipped the pants.

Peeta was in similar discomfort when she found him buttoning his shirt. "Maybe we should put them in the oven to dry?" she asked.

He shrugged. "We will dry. Prim, will you give me my shirt?" She stopped picking at his buttons and held it out to him obediently.

"She seems to be feeling better this morning. Has she gone to the bathroom yet?"

"No," he said, eyeing the girl fidgeting with her toes.

"I'll take her," Katniss offered. "Come on, Prim."

She set her on the seat and Prim stared at her. "Do you have to go?" Katniss asked. She shook her head. Katniss narrowed her eyes. "Are you sure?" Prim shook her head. "Let's just wait a little bit, okay?" Katniss suggested. She was practicing the German words for toiletries when Prim finally relaxed.

The little girl stood on Katniss's shoes to reach the faucet. There were no towels left so she dried her hands on her dress. Katniss cringed and thought of how her mother would sigh at the wet handprints on her Sunday clothes at home.

"Success?" Peeta asked as Prim ran to his legs.

Katniss smiled. "Success."

She could see the relief flood through him. "She will be okay," he breathed.

Peeta gave Prim a piggy back ride down the stairs and Katniss told her in broken German to drink the glass of water she set in front of her. Prim did so but watched the leftover food with certain interest.

Peeta toasted the remaining half-piece of bread and Katniss heated the last of the rice in a shallow pan over the pilot.

"It's not much," she sighed, setting the meager plates of food on the table. "I'll need to figure something out soon."

"It will do," Peeta assured her. Prim finished the water and reached for the bread. They watched her chew a bite and spit it out.

"I guess the bread's gone bad," Katniss said, sniffing it. She sighed. "What I would give for my mother's roasted chicken. Fresh green beans and carrots." Katniss sank into the chair to dream. "My father would sneak into the kitchen and pick at it whenever she pulled it out of the over to baste. Gave himself food poisoning twice when it wasn't fully cooked." She laughed. "He couldn't help himself."

"My mother, she roasts a ham at Christmas," Peeta smiled. "It takes four days to eat. There is so much of it, even three growing boys cannot finish."

She watched his smile fade.

Silence settled over them both.

Prim finished the milk and belched.

"Prim!" Peeta exclaimed. Katniss tried not to smile. "Entschuldigen Sie sich."

"Entschuldigen Sie mich," she parroted through a small smile. "Pardon," she lilted to Katniss.

They finished the food and cleaned the dishes.

Peeta leaned against the counter at Katniss's side. Prim sought the lost button under the refrigerator. "You go on Wednesday," he finally whispered. "Tomorrow."

"Yes." She willed her voice not to shake.

"Will they take her away from me?" he whispered. "If they find out. If…if I have to go north to Berlin. Will they take her to an orphanage?"

Katniss didn't answer.

"Will you take her?"

Katniss gripped the plate. "Don't ask that. Don't think that."

"Katniss, if they find out I am German I must go to Berlin! I cannot take her with me," he begged. "It will destroy her."

"I can't take her away from you!" Katniss threw a plate into the sink. It broke neatly in half. "She needs you! I can't take care of her!"

Prim gasped. They looked at her sitting on the floor in front of the icebox. She was holding the recovered button in her fingers.

"Shhh, Prim," Peeta shushed, picking her up.

Katniss watched them. Her heart ripped apart.

Peeta looked past Prim at her. She turned around and fished the broken plate from the sink. She crossed to the door to throw it out in a bin outside.

Gale was standing with his fist raised to knock as she opened the door. Prim snarled. He eyed the little girl in a faded dress in her brother's arms. He seemed to forget what he was going to say.

Katniss stepped outside; forcing him backwards. She shut the door behind her. He said nothing. She looked down at the broken plate. "Will I get a court martial?" she whispered.

"Only if they find out," he sighed. He took the plate pieces and tossed them into the garden. "Katniss. He's a Kraut. What are you doing?"

"He's a good man," she sighed, "who loves his sister. I'm helping them."

He gave her a hard look. "You're helping yourself to jail."

"Where else do I have to go?" she cried out. "What do you think I have left after this is all over?"

The screaming on the other side of the door brought her back. "Now I've scared her," Katniss complained. "I've got to go."

"Katniss-"

"I've got to go."

He stopped her with a grip on her arm. "The MP's are coming around." He hesitated before adding, "Stay hidden." She watched him turn around a walk away, wanting to say much more but not. She pressed her fists over her eyes, then shook her head and walked back inside with a smile.

"Prim, you are going to make us deaf," she said, silencing the girl with an embrace.

"Is everything all right?" Peeta asked nervously. "Did Captain Hawthorne need something?"

"MP's are coming around," Katniss told him. "We need to think of a new last name for you two in case they find us."

"My mother's birth name is – was Sobzcak," he offered. "I will say that is our name."

Katniss nodded. "All the same, let's make ourselves scarce."

They wrapped Prim in shirts and sweaters to keep her warm and she followed them reluctantly out to the pasture beyond the tiny chapel graveyard. Once out in the meadow, she began to run forward a few steps of them only to stop and wait. She snuck another smile as she somersaulted gracelessly.

Katniss and Peeta sat low in the high grasses and watched her collect winter buds in a circle around them.

"She is looking like Prim again," he whispered.

"Except that hair," Katniss bit back a smile as Prim fell over trying to pull up a bunch of foxglove with deep roots."Why do you think they did that?"

"To hide her? To scare her? To make her forget?" he shrugged. "I saw many things I did not understand." He looked over at Katniss. "I do not care about her hair."

"Me neither," she agreed. Prim ran over with a fistful of weeds for Katniss. She gave her a clumsy kiss on the cheek and ran back out to pick more flowers. Katniss scrunched her nose at the drying splotch on her cheek.

"She does like you very much," Peeta said. "I am glad."

"I like her too," Katniss told him.

Prim tucked a bunch of clover behind Peeta's ear. He rolled his eyes at Katniss's grin. "It suits you," she teased.

They quieted as she spotted the transport team moving through the town in the distance.

"Katniss," he whispered. She looked at his terrified eyes. "I cannot lose her again."

She said nothing. The team moved out of sight. The day grew chilly. Prim sat down between them to string limp daisies together. The last few birds of the season chirped around them. Peeta rubbed her head.

A small voice broke the silence after many minutes. The necklace of daisies had been abandoned.

"Papa kommt nicht."

She looked up at Peeta. He nodded. Her lip quivered. She turned to Katniss. "Er ist weg?"

Katniss felt her throat close. "Yeah, Prim. He's gone."

Prim was gone into the beyond again. Katniss stared with her.

"Prim, are you getting hungry?" Peeta murmured.

She nodded blankly.

"Peeta, you can't go into town," Katniss said.

"But she is hungry," Peeta pleaded.

"I'll go get rations."

"They will only give you food for one," Peeta said. "You will be hungry if you give food to her."

She looked down at Prim stripping leaves off a clover one by one. "I'll take her. We'll be in and out in no time," she replied to the look of alarm on his face. She glanced down. "Would you go with me to get food? Peeta will have to stay here."

Prim looked stricken. "Peeta must stay."

"I won't go anywhere," he assured her. "I will lay down right here in the grass. And you will come back and find me."

"No," Prim panicked, gripping his arm. Katniss saw Peeta wince at her small, sharp fingernails.

"Prim, you must be brave," Peeta told her softly. "You must help Katniss get food."

She gripped him and looked fearfully to Katniss. "He goes."

"He won't go anywhere," Katniss assured her. She took Prim's hand. Prim released Peeta's arm very, very slowly.

"I will wait right here for you," he whispered to her. "Katniss will take good care of you."

"You stay!" Prim shouted suddenly. "You stay!"

"I will, Prim."

She nearly crushed Katniss's hand as she walked with her down through the graveyard to the marketplace. She kept glancing over her shoulder, straining to see where Peeta was peering out of the tall grasses anxiously. "Prim, you have to look forward," Katniss whispered. "Stürmer. I don't want them to look back."

Prim looked forward and Katniss found herself worrying Peeta would be gone as well.

The little girl's arms went around her thigh tight as a tourniquet as they reached the marketplace. Katniss spotted the truck unloading packages into waiting soldier's arms and sighed with relief. She struggled over with Prim dragging on her leg.

"I need food," she told the soldier. He turned and looked at her. Her American accent and German farm clothes confused him. "Second Lieutenant Everdeen, nurse corps," she said, hauling her dog tags from her shirt.

"Oh. Sorry," he stumbled, handing over a few packs, as well as a package of saltines and a few cans of meat and vegetables. She snagged a burlap sack from his truck and filled it with the supplies.

"I need a bit more," Katniss said, nodding her head down to the child clinging to her leg.

The soldier looked terribly confused at the little girl with a boy's haircut. "Um. The prisoner laborers should get their own rations," he mumbled.

"She's four," Katniss snorted. "You think she's going to go stand in an aid line?"

"Um."

"Just give me the damn food."

The soldier handed over the food, unwilling to fight with her. Katniss thanked him with a hint of sarcasm and dragged her encumbered leg away slowly.

"Prim, I can't walk," she told the face buried in her thigh. "Can you hold my hand?"

"Katniss?" A voice from behind stopped her.

Katniss winced and turned around. "Hi, Aurelius," she mumbled.

He was looking back and forth between Prim and Katniss. "She all right?"

"I think so," Katniss frowned. "This is pretty normal for her."

Aurelius nodded thoughtfully. He looked at the burlap sack. "Getting rations?"

"Yeah."

"For the three of you?"

Katniss didn't answer.

"I found some canned stuff. It's unlabeled. But. You should take it." He turned and marched into a commandeered duplex home behind him. She blinked in surprise. She stumbled along for two steps before she picked up Prim and carried her into the building.

Aurelius was in the narrow kitchen immediately off the front door, pulling plain silver cans down from the shelves and putting them on the kitchenette table. Katniss set Prim down to start putting them in the burlap sack. Prim started her high-pitched whine. Katniss sighed and set her on the table in front of the food and started to pack the bag behind Prim's back.

"Where is he?"

"Hidden," Katniss said simply.

Aurelius didn't ask any further questions. "Need clothes?"

"If you have anything to spare. I could use some undershirts. Or nightgowns," she scoffed at herself.

"I have an undershirt," he said. He turned around and stopped.

Katniss swallowed hard.

"What is she doing?"

Katniss tried to sound calm. "She's eating my shirt." Prim was chewing her remaining button, her nose pressed into Katniss's shirt. "It's just a nervous tic," Katniss said uncomfortably. "She knows not to swallow the buttons." She paused. "She's not crazy, Aurelius."

Aurelius looked up at her. Prim pressed harder into her chest and pinched her skin under her shirt. Katniss felt like Aurelius was looking through her. "Hmm," he said.

She flushed. "I…don't," she stammered. "She wets if I make her stop. She's not crazy!"

Aurelius shifted his weight to his other foot. "Katniss?"

Aurelius stared hard at her. "Katniss, you're not a psychiatrist. You're not a doctor, and you're not her mother. She needs real help - or at least will when she gets home. You can't get attached to this kid and you can't let her get that attached to you."

"I didn't think it would hurt her," Katniss stumbled. She was horrified to feel tears escalating in her throat. "She was…Peet...I just wanted her to feel safe. I…I could help her. I couldn't help my father. I couldn't help Messalla," Katniss stammered in a thin, high voice. "I could help her." She looked at Aurelius imploringly. "Please don't tell Peeta." Prim looked up at his name. She was frightened at Katniss's tears.

Aurelius took off his glasses and massaged his eyes. "You're not hurting her, Katniss," he sighed. "For God's sake, after all that's happened. But Katniss, you're going to leave her behind."

"I can't leave her alone," Katniss said firmly, wiping her eyes. "If Peeta goes to Berlin with the other POWs she'll be alone."

"Odair won't let a kid go alone, Katniss."

"He said they were prisoners."

"He said that to keep you from settling down with a Kraut and a kid."

Katniss stared. She sniffled. "What?"

Aurelius nearly laughed. "Katniss, what the hell do you think it looks like? You're bunking with a Nazi."

"He's not a Nazi!"

"And you're barely a nurse anymore."

It stung. Prim was nearly biting her. Katniss winced in pain. Her wet shirt was clinging to her skin.

"You haven't treated a patient in a week," Aurelius said sternly. "A soldier patient, anyway. You've been hanging all over that kid since we found his house." He took a deep breath. "Are you screwing him?"

"No," she lied through gritted teeth.

"There's at least that," he sighed. "Don't think anyone will believe it, but at least you're not knocked up. That was most of the talk."

She closed her eyes. "So much for a damn brotherhood."

"Yeah, well," Aurelius shrugged. "What are you going to do?" he finally asked.

"I don't know."

"Well. You have a day."

Aurelius nodded towards a few unlabeled cans he'd left on the counter. Picking up his medical bag from its perch by the door, he left.

The second button popped off Katniss's shirt and Prim spit it into her hand. Katniss sighed and threw the wet button into the kitchen sink. She looked down at the curious green eyes.

"What am I going to do?"

"Peeta?"

Katniss nodded. "We'll go to Peeta now."

Prim walked more steadily knowing they were leaving town. She pulled on Katniss's hand only to retreat if someone else passed too close by. As they reached the chapel she was trying to run without releasing Katniss.

"Prim, you're going to pull my fingers off," Katniss smiled.

"Peeta?"

They looked out to the field. Katniss couldn't see anything.

"We're not quite there yet," she gritted her teeth.

"Where is Peeta?" Prim pulled harder.

Katniss juggled the heavy bag on her opposite shoulder. She wondered if she could run without drawing attention to them.

"Peeta!"

"Prim, shhh. He's a secret!" Katniss hissed.

But Prim was as panicked as she was. Katniss glanced over her shoulder. She didn't see anyone watching them. Not that she knew off.

"Prim?"

Katniss started and jumped as Peeta popped up from the tall grasses three feet from her shoe.

Prim let Katniss's hand fall as she raced over to her brother.

"We didn't see you," Katniss scolded. "You scared us."

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "The soldiers were walking through town, I thought I ought to lie down."

"It's fine," she stammered. "I just...we were worried."

"She has bitten your shirt?"

Katniss looked down. The damp spot over her sternum was still visible.

"Yeah," she tried to smile, lowering the bag onto the grass with a clink. "We found lots of food, though. We'll be okay for the time being."

"This is more than enough until you go tomorrow."

Katniss felt cold in the sunlight. She watched Prim sit in the grass with her body leaning against her brother.

"Peeta, I can't just go," she whispered. "I can't let them separate you and Prim. You know she won't be okay with just me. She needs you. She needs to see you and be with you."

"You cannot stay, Katniss," he said slowly and severely. "You will get into great trouble. I...you have given us so much."

She shook her head. "Is it enough?" she asked the grass.

"Yes," he said firmly.

Prim picked a long stem of grass and chewed it. She made a face and spit it out.

"Let's go back to the house. We need to open and eat some of this food."

The cans yielded potatoes, leeks, olives, corn and beef soup. Peeta eyed it hungrily before pouring it into a pan. "Let's add some water so it stretches," he said.

Katniss smiled. "You take it."

"No, that would not be right. We all share."

She shook her head. "You did have siblings, didn't you?" she chuckled.

"You did not?" he raised his eyebrows.

"Nope," she said, watching Prim pulling on his shoelaces.

"Were you not lonely?"

"I had my dad. And my mom," she said. "They were always around." She looked down as Peeta pulled Prim away from his shoes. The girl smiled and tackled the shoes again. "But a little. Yes."

The soup began to boil.

They put Prim into a chair, pushing their chairs up along side hers so she couldn't wriggle away from her plate. She struggled against the potatoes, but after enough scolding she was reluctantly eating proper food. They nearly got a full plate into her before she was crawling on the floor under their chairs, mewing.

"What is she doing?"

"She is playing cat," Peeta smiled. "We had a cat before it ran away one summer. Prim decided she would be our cat and so she crawls under foot."

Katniss watched her green eyes pop out from the shadow. She meowed. Peeta laughed.

Katniss smiled, but felt lonely.

* * *

They watched her sleep on the bed. Her fingers were curled around Katniss'. They twitched as she dreamed. Katniss let her drooping eyes drift up to meet Peeta's.

"What will I do?" he whispered.

"We'll pass you off as prisoner laborers that were liberated," Katniss murmured. She looked away. He might see how frightened she was.

"And if they know?"

"How could they know?" she said too harshly.

"Your friend Odair. He does not like that you lie for me."

She brushed Prim's fingers with her thumb. They were sticky from being chewed on.

"Katniss. If they take me-"

"Stop it!" she hissed.

"Katniss, please," he held her arm. She forced her eyes to meet him. He was more frightened than she'd seen him before. Her arm ached where he hung on. "Please."

"I'll look after her," she whispered.

His whole body relaxed and he released her arm. "Thank you."

He left the bedroom, carefully climbing over his sister. She heard the water running in the bathroom. She wondered if he didn't want her to hear him cry with relief.

Prim woke with a cry. "Mama!" Her eyes found Katniss. She wept. She held out her arms.

Katniss collected her into an embrace. "I'm sorry, Prim. I'm not. I'm so sorry." She rocked the crying child back and forth. "Shh. She's looking after your brothers in Heaven. With your Papa. My dad is helping her." Katniss swallowed hard against the lump in her throat.

"Hey," she said, pulling back to hold Prim's face in her hands. Prim looked up at her and blinked away her own tears. "If I...if I look after you. For your brother. Don't hold it against me if I screw up, okay?"


	12. Chapter 12

_I'm going to update as often as I can to stay motivated here; the cold, grey weather in NYC is killing my verve. _

* * *

Katniss stared at the ceiling above her. Prim's soft snoring was in her ear, Peeta's deep breaths beyond hers. The night was inky blue, the sun was just about to rise. As the sounds of footsteps and motion grew outside with the light the dread grew heavier and heavier.

How could she leave? How could she take Prim? How could she shirk her obligation to her father? To her country?

The knock at the door was as terrible as it was expected.

She gently released herself from Prim's grasp and Peeta's draped arm and tiptoed out of the room. The stairs squeaked as she descended.

"Hey Katniss."

"Are they coming for him?"

Gale sighed heavily. She could see he hadn't slept. "Yeah. Jackson held out as long as he could but the staff sergeant asked him directly about the kids staying with you. He couldn't...he couldn't lie, Kat," he apologized.

"I know. This is my responsibility," she said flatly.

Gale rubbed his eyes. "They want him at the transport at 0700."

Katniss nodded. "I'll tell him."

"What are you going to do with the girl?"

She said nothing.

"Katniss?"

"I'll tell him." She shut the door quickly and walked back up the stairs. It was a moment before Gale's footsteps carried him away.

Peeta was awake when she returned. She saw his blue eyes glowing in the blue morning.

"Is it time?" he whispered.

She nodded.

* * *

"Peeta!" Prim screamed over and over until she was hoarse and feverish. He turned around and tried to wave to her, but the guards insisted he keep his hands on the back of his head so he smiled and called for her to be good.

Katniss held her from running after him and getting in the way. Prim kicked and thrashed, drawing stares but Katniss ignored them. Finally the truck laden with POWs rumbled away with its inhabitants; lost boys, angry men, spitting SS officers, tired soldiers. Prim started to wretch and Katniss carried her back to the house.

Prim lay down on the floor of the kitchen and refused to move. Katniss watched her for a moment then headed upstairs to pack up what was left of her belongings.

She folded the undershirts carefully. She'd need the layers as winter grew bitter and they moved north. She looked at the peasant's blouse and skirt she'd borrowed from the church before stuffing them into the sack. It was foolish to keep them but she couldn't let them go. The tears were coming, she knew it, but she couldn't break down. Not now when Prim needed her.

"There is a person at the door."

She jumped and turned around. Prim was looking at her, her nose streaming and eyes wide.

"What?"

Prim looked back to the stairs as Katniss finally heard the knocking.

"Someone is here." She looked back up at Katniss. "Are they here for me?" It was a whisper.

Katniss yanked Prim into the room and pushed her under the bed. "Hide! Primrose, hide under the bed and don't come out, okay? Please?" Prim's eyes were wide. "Don't be scared, and don't cry, please," Katniss begged. "I'll be right back."

Katniss ran for the door as the pounding grew louder. She composed herself and yanked open the kitchen door.

"Aurelius?" she stared. He stood in front of a smiling women in a Red Cross uniform and a translator flipping through a quick book of German.

His eyes were wide. He licked his dry lips and spoke stiffly. "Um, there's a volunteer corps taking liberated civilians away from the front lines. They've offered to take the little girl with them."

Katniss stared. "What?"

"She's got to go with the civilians."

Her knees were weak and her head was swimming. "I promised Peeta I'd take care of her," she whispered.

"You're shipping out in an hour," he said stiffly. "She can't go."

Katniss felt her breath leaving her. "I can't...I can't..."

"Katniss?"

"NO!" She slammed the door and ran for the stairs. She heard the door burst in behind her.

"Everdeen! Stop this!"

"No!"

She tore up the stairs. She saw to her horror that Prim was standing at the top of the stairs, watching her with streaming eyes. She grabbed her in her arms and ran to the bedroom, but it was already too late. Aurelius' hand was on her shoulder.

"Katniss, stop this!" he hissed.

She backed into the corner by the closet, hanging onto Prim tightly. "Aurelius, I can't let her go. I promised."

"You promised your country first," he said. He glanced over his shoulder as the shocked man and woman snuck up the stairs. "Can you give us a minute?" he snapped and they scurried back downstairs.

Katniss felt herself wanting to wretch. "Aurelius, she'll die. I can't just give her away, please, please-"

"Everdeen. Stop." She raised her eyes to his. He stared at her hard. "You have responsibilities to the soldiers who need you. She is one child, who has a community here willing to take care of her and give her a new home - something you can't give her, now or ever. Let her go."

Katniss looked down at Prim. She stared up at her with eyes just like Peeta's.

"I promised," Katniss whispered.

Aurelius reached out and ripped Prim from Katniss' arms. "This is war. You don't have the luxury of promises," he called over the girl's screams. He turned and walked out of the room as Prim thrashed.

Katniss slipped to the ground in a pile of grief.

* * *

She watched the convoy leave from the hill where she and Peeta had spent the afternoon. She imagined she could hear Prim calling for her long after the trucks disappeared east, but it was in her head.

She gathered up her pack and shuffled down the hill to where the hospital had begun to mobilize. She recognized few faces but then realized most of her Auxiliary Hospital hadn't survived the attack. She had been reassigned but now couldn't remember what the CO had told her. She hadn't been paying attention.

The nurses were clustered in circles, talking to one another and discussing patients. It seemed like a million years ago that this had been her. She fell in line silently and followed the other women into the cargo trucks. When they rumbled to life underneath her, she felt dead. She took a seat by the canvas flap to watch the road, hoping it would give her a reprieve from making conversation.

"Katniss?"

She heard her name as the engine started and vibrated her to numbness in her seat. She looked out the flap and saw Gale standing outside the van.

"I, um, I heard." He looked away. She nodded mutely. He waited for her to speak but when nothing came, he told her, "I'm reassigned, I'm coming with the Auxiliary for security. The going will be rough when we get to Germany."

"If only we had someone who could identify landmines on the road ahead," she said before she could stop herself. She bit her tongue hard. "Sorry."

"No - I. No." He paused for a moment then said, "I gotta get to my truck. See you at lunch." And he was gone.

The road ran by outside the open as the sun rose and she felt a headache grow with the light. She squeezed her eyes shut.

"Honey? You feelin' all right?"

It took a moment for Katniss to realize the woman sitting across from her was speaking to her. "Yeah, just a headache," she said."

"Well, just lie back. We have a long drive east."

"Hmm," Katniss said, closing her eyes and letting her loll back. One woman had started humming and a few other girls were trying to remember the tune.

Katniss' head snapped back up. "East?"

"Sorry?"

"We're headed east?"

"Oh, yes," the woman smiled. "A snow storm north just ruined the roads; they're all mud. We're going to travel east first then turn north to make sure they ambulances don't get stuck. We'll need those in Germany!" The woman settled back and pulled out a sewing kit to begin repairing a torn sling with an old bloodstain across the tie.

Katniss felt her mind race. If Prim had left just thirty minutes ago, she could be less than twenty miles away. Maybe ten or fifteen if they had to stop for the older men and women to take breaks.

Her plan began to take shape before they stopped for lunch.

* * *

The night was bitter as she dressed in the tent where her campmate slept, murmuring to a man named Tommy as she slept. Katniss yanked on four pairs of socks, three sweaters, three pairs of pants, and wrapped herself in loose fabric as a scarf before donning her coat. Her pack was stuffed with food she'd hidden under her coat from dinner.

She slipped from the tent and began to walk towards the road, dodging soldiers that patrolled for raids. She heard the sounds of nurses and doctors in the tents around her and knew what she was abandoning. Her heart pounded. This was jail. This was a court martial. But she couldn't stop herself.

She'd reached the edge of the frozen camp and looked out at the empty field ahead of her. There was light from the moon swathing the grass. She looked right and left, wondering how to run across at least half a mile of open land unseen. There was no way she wouldn't be spotted and arrested.

She turned around and ran smack into a security patrol.

"Leaving so soon?"

She could barely hear him over the pounding of blood behind her eardrums. "Gale?" she whispered.

"Thought you'd at least wait until the sun was up."

"I can't wait that long, she'll be too far for me to reach."

He looked out across the field. "You can't go now. Wait for an hour. Watkins circles the left side of the camp then and he's exhausted. I'll tell him to go to bed and relieve him at 2300, then you take off. It'll be easier to pass off as a mistake."

"Will you get in trouble?"

"Far less than you."

She nodded. "Why are you helping me?"

He smiled at her. "This is what you believe in. I know you're here for the wrong reasons, Katniss. When you told me you knew what Peeta was going through, back in the woods when we found him, I realized who you were. I met him once. In staging. He was an incredible man, Katniss. But you can't bring him back. We can't get anyone back."

She stared. "You knew my father?"

"Not well. But I know he had a daughter he loved and he was worried about."

She shook her head. "I came here to die for him."

"That's not why we fight. We fight to give life to this continent. To fight for those who cannot fight." Gale took a deep breath. "And you aren't with us."

"What? How can you-"

"You're fighting for a little girl and her brother. That's okay. But you're no use to the army like this. I mean this in the kindest way possible: you need to go or you'll only cause trouble for this unit."

She swallowed hard. "That was..."

"Honest," he sighed. "I don't mean to be an asshole here, but I'm in charge of making sure this camp is safe for the nurses and doctors trying to save American and Allied lives. I don't have time to chase after you. And frankly, you already survived an ambush and lived in the woods for a few days without any help so I'm sure you'll be fine. Especially with this."

He slipped his sidearm from its holster and pushed it into her hands. "And an extra clip. Use it sparingly, I don't know what you'll find out there."

Her mouth hung open. "I don't know what to say."

"Don't say anything. Just...go get some rest and come back at 2300."

"Thank you."

"Don't thank me, I may be getting you killed," he said wearily. "Take care of yourself, Katniss. Okay?"

"I will. I'll see you again, Hawthorne."

"I hope so, Everdeen."

He turned and hurried away. She thought she saw him wipe his eye.

* * *

An hour later the frost was crunching under her boots as she sprinted across the empty field.


End file.
